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Weekend Drunk Thread, 6/7

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Nom Chompsky, Jun 7, 2013.

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  1. Kampf Trinker

    Kampf Trinker
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    If I have to read anymore of the retarded e-drama you guys are starting on here, I'm going to cut a bitch. This is like dropping in on a talk your friends are having about how we're all really 20% gay. You're making me dumber. Stop.
     
    #141 Kampf Trinker, Jun 9, 2013
  2. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Ok I'm having serious issud opening thisf bathtooom door
     
    #142 Crown Royal, Jun 9, 2013
  3. Kampf Trinker

    Kampf Trinker
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    There we go. There's someone on my level.
     
    #143 Kampf Trinker, Jun 9, 2013
  4. toddamus

    toddamus
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    You're having serious issues opening the bathroom door but you're able to type? I'm a bit confused but fuck it. If you yell at the door it will open, I promise.
     
    #144 toddamus, Jun 9, 2013
  5. bewildered

    bewildered
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    Deeply satisfied pooper

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    I support this.
     
    #145 bewildered, Jun 9, 2013
  6. hotwheelz

    hotwheelz
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    Women should have sex with me because I had an interview for a journalism internship and I fucking naked it. My first ever interview and they said I'd really fit in and I'll definitely be hearing back from them. Should I get it I'll have my articles featured twice a week. So, ALL THE SINGLE WOMEN DROP YOUR PANTIES AND FEED ME BEER.
     
    #146 hotwheelz, Jun 9, 2013
  7. hotwheelz

    hotwheelz
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    Y'all go to bed too fucking early.
     
    #147 hotwheelz, Jun 9, 2013
  8. downndirty

    downndirty
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    I just spent the entire weekend fucking, watching Happy Endings (great show), and eating Korean barbecue. I also slept more than 6 hours for the first time in 3 weeks. God, rainy summer days are awesome.
     
    #148 downndirty, Jun 9, 2013
  9. Frank

    Frank
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    Apparently Are You Afraid of the Dark is free for Amazon Prime customers. Looks like my night is planned.
     
    #149 Frank, Jun 9, 2013
  10. CharlesJohnson

    CharlesJohnson
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    Not a typo. No wonder you got the gig.

    Last night I taught a bartender how to make a Negroni. Can't get a job in a bar doing menial shit, but I know more than the pot head working your place. Lovely.
     
    #150 CharlesJohnson, Jun 9, 2013
  11. audreymonroe

    audreymonroe
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    The most powerful cervix... in the world...

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    I woke up this morning to find half a draft of a sext that I almost accidentally sent to my dad, so that's where I was at.
     
    #151 audreymonroe, Jun 9, 2013
  12. D26

    D26
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    And now we're all sad at the amount of awkward funny that was avoided last night.

    Bigger mistakes = better stories. Sad but true.
     
    #152 D26, Jun 9, 2013
  13. TX.

    TX.
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    The Mad Pooper

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    Audrey-that's kinda awesome.

    I just remembered the quote of the day from Fri: "Don't be scared of me just cuz I got the Virus, child." I wasn't scared, but thanks for awkward moment.

    I'm sitting alone in a movie theater, and it's kinda awesome. Doing things alone is underrated.
     
    #153 TX., Jun 9, 2013
  14. iczorro

    iczorro
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    While wiping standing up and joining a sorority? Cause THEN we'd have a conversation!
     
    #154 iczorro, Jun 9, 2013
  15. Parker

    Parker
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    Once again, Audrey has fucked up by leaving the most important part out, WHAT WAS THE HALF DRAFTED TEXT?
     
    #155 Parker, Jun 9, 2013
  16. Parker

    Parker
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    I'm in way better shape, it would be a red bunny, with blue everything else. God, you don't even know me!
     
    #156 Parker, Jun 9, 2013
  17. Nom Chompsky

    Nom Chompsky
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    Honorary TiBette

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    Audrey wakes up to find an overnighted package on her doorstep. It's from her father. She's confused -- she wasn't expecting anything, and her birthday isn't for another 9 months. What could it be?

    She tears open the envelope to find a True Writer Fountain, with a delicate cap and an impeccably crafted nib. It's beautiful, but confusing. What could have happened last night? She frantically checks her sent texts.

    Uh oh.


    Crisis narrowly averted.
     
    #157 Nom Chompsky, Jun 9, 2013
  18. crazy asian

    crazy asian
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    Experienced Idiot

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    I finally figured out how to start my lawnmower. I've just been asking guy friends to come over and help me with it until now but apparently I've just been gripping incorrectly.

    Sidenote, I wore short shorts and a tank top to mow the lawn, and I wasn't aware I had so many friendly male neighbors...
     
    #158 crazy asian, Jun 9, 2013
  19. scotchcrotch

    scotchcrotch
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    That couldn't be further from the truth.

    Next time you smoke a large cut, like a shoulder, and use mesquite for 4 hours as opposed to hickory.

    It'll be barely edible.
     
    #159 scotchcrotch, Jun 9, 2013
  20. bewildered

    bewildered
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    They just wanted to get and make sure your grip was correct.
     
    #160 bewildered, Jun 9, 2013
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