I have an aluminum baseball bat in my trunk. It was like $20 at Walmart, and can do a good bit of damage. Probably won't look as cool hanging above my fireplace, though.
I wouldn't dare rain on it. The smell would be worse that way. But I think it could be cool especially if you are already a few deep. And trakiel, 9k for a sword? Is it valyrian steel? Also, have you heard of guns?
Just had the best afternoon nap after a massive night and wake up to find no boobs since my last post. We're slipping Idiots.
Soooo, I have hung out in plenty of strip clubs before. Only tonight have I felt truly vulnerable. There must be a bullseye on me. I just spent about 2 hours with a Romanian stripper. "I don't like eet, when they bite me neeples." "I don't always orgasm during dance." "Guess how hold I is. THIRTY-FIVE! No child, no stretch mark!" "I just made $20! It was icky, he orgasm during dance." "My husband is Romanian too. He no like work, so I get job. He do nothing!" "I'm looking for good strong man. Handsome, yes! Like you!" I know this shit is typical... but it isn't for me. In no way do I look like a baller. Unless you count the fact that I am white. In no way do I encourage my whores to dump some catharsis on me either. Until tonight. She just started... * complaining* at me. So I looked her in the eye (mistake) and she went OFF for a couple hours. It was kind of hilarious. Also, she had ass for days, which she didn't mind us smacking. So I guess it evens out? I blame it all on my new purple shirt.
Man am I glad I don't read ingredients until after I eat stuff. I just ate some sort of meat grits that was really good. Then I looked at the ingredients, cow heart, cow lung, pig liver, and an unidentified part of a moose.
You think that's bad. Try being in seventh grade, and having your elderly teacher, after intercepting a note passed between to slackers, call you to the front of the class to ask what a "BJ" is. I literally stared at her blankly for about five seconds, then shook my head, turned around and walked back to my seat and hid behind the kid in front of me.
Try having to wait until you are almost twenty to find out that the thing you caught your mom doing a couple of times was her being in the middle of an Eiffel Tower.
What. the. fuck. All of your gifts to her every year for every occasion should be doorknobs that lock.
If they're talking about Skyrim they're already four stages past dragon shirt and are in full on no sunlight for weeks basement dweller mode.
As someone who has dealt with this before and has a minimum of common sense, I am actually aware that sitting in front of a computer is not conducive to quickly becoming sleepy. I made that post after lying in bed for half an hour. I ran out of my morning antidepressant and couldn't take it yesterday, which might account for the racing thoughts coming back whenever I close my eyes. Valyrian steel is much cheaper than $9000, good Ser. Wow. I didn't even know what a BJ was in seventh grade. I remember coming home in eighth to ask my mom why the girl on the bus said she had THO. I would suggest therapy for the almost certain subconscious mental scarring, but I don't know any therapist could hear that without laughing or thinking you were just trolling. Jesus, that's Awkward Post of the Year right there.
I am sad. Here Pimptress was being all flirty and cute last night, and Stay Frosty rained on everyone's parade. Where is Kratos with the Ambien when you need him?