By "this world is awesome" I hope you mean "this world is populated with so many morons it is literally impossible to be absent of entertainment". Seriously, who would WANT to look like that? I've rarely seen anything so revolting. She looks like unsculpted clay on a pottery spinner. Unless your face was smashed apart in an accident or something or some horrible Shit Happens deformity, plastic surgery is for insecure ding-dongs. I must have not been standing in line a few years ago when every other male was programed into thinking that giant, disgusting asses somehow pass as "sexy". Sometimes I feel like the only human being left that still has eyes, but Eye Of The Beholder and all that goofy shit. Shoot it, bury it, no funeral, never discuss it again.
Apparently, one of the former tenants of my apartment was gay, and he hasn't changed his address for pretty much anything he gets regular mail from, including his subscription to Butt Magazine. Two months ago, I felt that something addressed to him had a magazine in it, and since I've been enjoying his subscription to Paper Magazine, I assumed it would be something with similar good taste, and when I opened it up it turned out to be Butt's 2012 weekly calendar. We gave it away as a door prize at our housewarming party, but today I got my (his) first actual issue of the magazine. It's an odd magazine. A lot of the guys in it are hot, but even the pornier pages are so weird and unsexy. This is probably because I'm not a gay man, but I just don't get it. And the interviews are strange. And there was this feature of illustrations focusing on the shoulders up of men with really great hair and O faces and glops of their own jizz flying up in the general direction of their faces. Shrug. Anyway, that's how I've been spending my Saturday night.
I'm spending mine drinking Sailor Jerry and watching Full Metal Jacket. I'll take that over gay porn any day.
Busch Ice may only cost $5.15 a 12 pack, but you pay so much more the next day. Needless to say this had been a day long hangover. #notwinning.
I just watched a completely forgotten classic that saw the foodie movement 10 years early. Ravenous A riff off the Donner Party cannibal story with Guy Pearce and Ferris Bueller's principal. F'n phenomenal forgotten gem. Soundtrack is done with anachronistic instruments by one of the Blur dudes. Awesome characters, dark DARK comedy. Also written by the guy that did the Silence of the Lambs adaptation. What was with 1999? I've never seen a year full of such awesome flicks. Even loud action flicks like The Matrix were thoughtful that year.
You wrote that, I thought this. Last night? I told the girl that was loving me that I was in love with another. Her response? "That's OK babe, everyone is."
Judging by the photo it looks like he did his own gender reassignment surgery with a melon baller. Best story this year. Where's it going next? Aliens? Is there a conspiracy? Politician was dating him/her? It can go anywhere.
What I've read about Miami generally, stuff this weird happens pretty much daily. Swamps, coke and hurricanes. Guess that kind of place grows some fucked up people.
Couple explanations. Tons of people come for the climate because they're sick of the cold. I think we get a large number of disaffected folk, unstable folk, and volatile nutbars looking for some kind of glamorous island life. Give these people easy access to drugs and alcohol and then completely scramble their already maladjusted brain with the heat. We had 90% humidity yesterday. In November. The heat fries a moron's brain then the humidity makes sure insufficient oxygen reaches the affected parts. Florida also grows plenty of crackers. There are some weird S.O.B.'s in the state's interior.
Random thought: I was thinking about video game rentals, my thought process is "this is a layup, $4 for a trial period to make sure I don't make a $50 mistake." Why don't they have this for kids?
It was a year of highs and lows. High: American Pie. At last, a relatable teen comedy since 1993 that was funny AND had values. This formula failed spectacularly in what seemed to be billions of PG-13 shitstorm impersonations that followed. Low: Varsity mothafuckin Blues. Sorry Kubla, I hate that movie with a passion and always will. It is EVERYTHING I hate in a movie. High: 1999-2000 New Year's party. The biggest ever, the most fun New Years of my life. How fortunate to be here to witness such a thing. Low: Y2K Panic. Doomdayers, fear profiteers and idiots unite that "The End is Near!" because a couple of computer digits, so waves of retards stocked up on pork n' beans and cheese whiz so they could survive until the end of february. Thanks, cool dudes. I think I'll take my chances in Thunderdome. And what happened? Just what we told you. Another big payday for Dick Clark. I hear that in Thunderdome only one is permitted to exit the premesis after both guests are originally granted entrance. Who cares anyway? We all know it's the horrible, horrible robots that will eventually be the end of us.
The Lincoln Lawyer is on. Specifically, the sex scene between Matthew McConaughey and Marissa Tomei. PG-14 rating aside, does it bother anyone else how long characters leave their clothes on for when they're on the countdown to sex? I don't know about you guys, but my experience has shown that the clothes come off in the first ten seconds. Yet, in Hollywood, women leave their bras and skirts on event though it's their boyfriend and they're in their own bed.