Re: Weekend Drunk Thread, Nov 4-6? My mom went shopping in my dad's new car and just called me in a panic. Mom: Help me. I can't get the key in the ignition. Me: What the hell do you mean - it won't turn or it won't actually go in? Mom: It won't go in further than a quarter of an inch or so. Me: Uhh... Other lady shopper: Excuse me, I think that's my car. Mom: (to me) I'll call you back. So my mom gets into someone else's car (apparently they left it unlocked) thinking it's my dad's and before she can realize it, gets caught by the actual owner. It's not even like it was the same car - my dad's is an Explorer and she got in a Tahoe.
Re: Weekend Drunk Thread, Nov 4-6? I'm attempting to roast half a chicken in the oven. Any bets on if I screw something up and kill myself?
Re: Weekend Drunk Thread, Nov 4-6? How could you screw up roasting a chicken, never mind kill yourself while doing it? Season it. Turn on the oven. Put it in a pan, put the pan in the oven. Cook until the juices run clear. Remove from oven. Fin.
Re: Weekend Drunk Thread, Nov 4-6? WOW, so we finally got power back after eight days. We've been nomads all week and taking showers at various high schools and Planet Fitness. I think I've grilled more meat and drank more beer in the last eight days than I will in the next seven Fourth Of July's combined.
Re: Weekend Drunk Thread, Nov 4-6? I did enjoy that point of the meetup where we all discovered we had the same good taste in dogs.
Re: Weekend Drunk Thread, Nov 4-6? What's on the menu? Is it something you can just throw in the oven? If so, do that real fast, take a quick trip to palmdale, then you'll be nice and ready to chow down. I got a big mac if you want a sandwich, g.
Re: Weekend Drunk Thread, Nov 4-6? Yep, this is enough to check the irreconcilable differences box with you crazy east coast people. Vaya con dios. Easy come, easy go. And several other George Strait song titles. I'm just being a bitch. This isn't hard at all.
Re: Weekend Drunk Thread, Nov 4-6? Swimming with dolphins = Awesome. Swimming with Stingrays & Weird-lookin' fish = Awesome. Free food and booze ALL DAY = Awesome. It's official. Discovery Cove truly rocks The Shit. I would recommend it to anybody that doesn't hate fish.
Re: Weekend Drunk Thread, Nov 4-6? What the fuck? I live with three guys and there isn't a single bottle of hot sauce in our kitchen. I thought guys loved hot sauce.
Re: Weekend Drunk Thread, Nov 4-6? You live with sissies and you should let them know as much. I bet they pee sitting down, so you'll have to start leaving the lid up and puddles of urine on the floor. Good luck, Audrey, we're all counting on you. *grabs crotch, spits*
Re: Weekend Drunk Thread, Nov 4-6? Got home at 7:30 (so 8:30). Slept for 2 hours. Haven't been back to sleep. Exhaustion is setting in.
Re: Weekend Drunk Thread, Nov 4-6? After reading the first two sentences, I thought you were teaching him about the less practical but still somewhat entertaining uses of his package.
Re: Weekend Drunk Thread, Nov 4-6? I want to suck on that Brady until he Pats me on the back of the head.
Re: Weekend Drunk Thread, Nov 4-6? Hell, even I have 3 different types of hot sauce. I have bigger balls than your roommates, I don't know if I should be proud of that or not.
Re: Weekend Drunk Thread, Nov 4-6? What bullshit. Ocho Cinco is fucking dead weight. He couldn't catch AIDS if he tried.
Re: Weekend Drunk Thread, Nov 4-6? I survived and it was delicious! If I was thinking I would have taken a picture in the cooking thread.
Re: Weekend Drunk Thread, Nov 4-6? I was working on a take home chem test in the library. Now I am waiting frantically for my friend to arrive because he's supposed to be here any minute and I have to GO SO BAD.
Re: Weekend Drunk Thread, Nov 4-6? What a damn day. I decided to hit the drive-thru for a coffee before church and got stuck behind a car that wasn't moving. Turns out the owner of the car was inside the coffee shop and had parked his car in the drive-thru because "it's closer to the store than the handicapped spot." Today was also All Saints day at church, so there were a few hymns that only get played once a year. As I was running through them before the service, one of the old German ladies walked up to me and said, giggling, "That's Hitler's hymn. The hymn Hitler re-wrote as the Nazi battle hymn". She then proceeded to sing said battle hymn in German. What. The. Fuck. Last but not least, I got to watch the boyfriend's mom act/dance her way through her retirement home's variety show. All retirement home people, all retirement home humor, including a song titled "where did I leave my keys", and a remix of My Favourite Things from The Sound Of Music where the favourite things included Polydent and bunion pads. I need a drink.