Shitfaced people don't use flawless punctuation. I award you no points. This is how you can tell when you've posted while shitfaced: when you can't find your post via search due to all of the typos.
That OKCupid Enemies site has brought the laughs, well done. Well, I had booty to share but my linky no work. I give up. Someone save us.
One of the things I really miss about being younger is my balls. I was just completing a relatively safe buy in Brazil when the federal police happened to come into the bar. I did a pretty solid job of reading my book and appearing unconcerned, but I basically gave myself arrhythmia. I miss the blind confidence of youth, or at least the lack of incapacitating fear. In the immortal words of... Martin Riggs maybe? I'm getting too old for this shit. On the upside, I'm not in jail and I'm about to see whether the legends are justified.
Spoiler I'll have you know my fine feathered friend, I AM. I'm not on "The Wall" so to speak, but DON"T YOU TELL ME HOW TO LIVE MY LIFE!!! YOU NEVER CAME TO ANY OF MY SOCCER GAMES, OLD MAN!!
I am almost a masters degree holder, I majored in History as undergrad........ and even though all my knowledge makes me think that the Ancient Aliens show on H2 is the stupidest thing ever- I LOVE IT!!!!!! and I watch it almost every friday, and I wish it was true! DON'T JUDGE ME MONKEY!!!!!!
Sweetheart, I love you, so don't get mad when I say this- there are probably a couple of things that everyone judges you on for this post.
Watching the movie Friday, censored for language on network tv is kind of like watching a video of people watching a video of people watching the best porn ever on a 10" monitor. It sucks.
Interesting tangent, but as a crazy wild hair I watched Bull Durham on HBO Go the other weekend and realized that I had watched it on TBS so many times that I never knew that they actually did talk like ball players throughout the movie.
Let me just let this be known: Staring at this for the next three weeks straight is not my idea of a bad time.
I'm going to Vegas next week. This trip is kind of last minute, and I'm on my own for Friday, part of Sunday, and Monday, so... Are there any TiBers in Vegas?
Bob and Steve, the two skunks that enjoy ransacking my she din the summer months are prowling around in my backyard. They're all like "Yo brah, dis mothafucka jury-rigged a pirce of wood that fit under the door so we can't go in there and tearr the garbage open and leave three-coilers in the firewood pile!" Not this year, litlel bastards. Scoreboard.
Between skunks and bumble bees the size of frieght locomotives and psychopathic neighbours that scream profanities at each other (they haven't discovered screens don't deflect sound) that treat their children like Red Sox fnas treat bIll Buckner it's like I live in my own private Fear Factor... I don't like It. I WONT STAND FOR IT GODDMAN IT. My backyard is my getaway in the summer and mother Nature (and homegrown white trash) need to be kicked in tgh shins. Maybe I can kill em all with ninja stars or somethng. EDIT: Sorry for all the typos. Y'know.
Tear gas? Sure. Mongolia? Bring it the fuck on. Girls who are clearly into me? Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck.