Get a pipe? Or one of those cigarette makers that compacts tobacco (or whatever leaves you're smoking) into a pre-made wrap.
When you say unsuccessful...is it merely a bad joint, or an unsmokeable mess? Because the former is to be expected.
We went out drinking last night. I was sorta looking for women, but not really. Apparently, this was the best possible attitude, since I was actually pretty charming instead of being my normal nervous wreck self. I am absolutely terrible at dancing. I'm the guy who avoids the dance floor like the plague, who stands in the corner of the room with a drink, bobbing his head like an idiot. Yeah, that guy. A girl ended up asking me if I wanted to dance. "Sure, but I don't know how to dance." "Oh, that's fine." She was right; you don't need to know how to dance when she's just grinding up on your junk. She walked off to find her friends, I ended up sitting down at a table. I met a girl with the very strange name of Chuck. Yes, a girl named Chuck. I made a "Boy Named Sue" wisecrack and she thought that was funny. I ended up getting her number before the other girl came back. We joined up with her friends, who had picked up some other Marines, and took their car to a hotel. Unfortunately for me, Fuckknuckles A and B decided to lose their minds and said some stupid things to their women. As a result, the girls went to leave... and since they were my girl's ride, I was SOL. I got her number, but I'm frustrated that I got cockblocked by someone else's stupidity. I cockblock myself, thank you very much. I don't need your help.
Maybe youre from the East Coast and need to roll blunts instead? Seriously though, when you are just starting out, grind or chop the weed very fine. Any large pieces fuck up your chi. Also, dont skimp too badly, or you wont get a nice round shape, and dont overpack or it wont close. Putting the filter in (not an actual filter if you actually want to get stoned) before the green will help it hold its shape a little better. But really, its just practice. It took me a month and probably 2 oz before I could roll properly.
I want your Black Card on my desk by the end of the day. You can get it back once you appeal to the Black Board and demonstrate your ability to roll a joint. I don't even smoke weed, but I damn sure know how to roll a blunt. Unacceptable...
This is like the white leading the white if you dont even smoke Parker. I declare you both race traitors and welcome you to canapes at Sacks house.
I prefer the term African-American Express? Anyway, yes, I know this is embarrassing, I'M TRYING TO FIX IT OK? I'll put it this way, I unrolled it and had somebody else do it. I'll probably do this eventually, but there's not really anywhere close to here to get a pipe, and I'm not travelling two hours round trip just to smoke today.
Oddly enough this is my strategy for condoms. I shudder to suggest it but theres always the can technique. Nasty but effective.
Yeah I fucking could never roll a joint. Shit I was even shittier at doing it with those joint rollers that didn't make shit easier. I tried maybe three or four times and just stuck with glass. I like glass much better anyway. Honestly, I never dug how much licking and inserting in the mouth was involved. When some friend of a friend named Patches with one huge dread would roll it up and do that whole joint mouth insert, I'd just pass on that shit.
That's another thing. The fact that I have to wear condoms again after a three-year hiatus is UNACCEPTABLE.
Step 1; push down on middle of can to flatten it. Step 2: on the side of the can near the bottom, where its newly flat, make a number of small holes, either via fork or with a small knife. This is where your weed will sit. Optional step 3: make a small hole somewhere else you can use like the shotty on a bong. Place weed over your fork holes and place the normal opening of the can to your lips. Light weed. Use hole if you made one. Inhale. Its astonishingly easy to make but the smoke is hot and rough as fuck.
I'm not so good at rolling either. It's always too loose, so I always have to lick it, twist it, and roll a flame over it. The paper will shrink to a pretty joint shape, so there's no need to be perfect.
I tried to do that the last time and the paper caught on fire. Womp womp. GIFt for the collective your help: NSFW
You can always switch to crack. I hear the prep for that is much easier. Edit- Wait a second. Make sure the paper is damp. Don't hold the joint too close to the flame or for too long. It's basically playing shrinky dinks.
I always used the dollar bill method. Fold one end of a bill so the crease is about and inch or so from the edge of the bill. Insert the rolling paper into bill, crease on crease, add you weed, then, using the same technique one normally uses to roll, begin rolling the joint, using the dollar bill to hold it uniform and providing "traction" to get a firm and solid roll. Be sure to use a crisp dollar bill. The more worn the dollar, the less friction you'll get. Works every time. Does this count as drug counseling?
I've decided that I am going to wish my husband a happy father's day on the 17th, and then when he gets confused, I'll just give him a coy smile. Is that a mean joke?