YOU GIRL SCOUT WHORES! You know, some things should be sacred. I know ice cream went from 1/2 gallon to 1.5 quarts for the same price, but I never expected the girl scouts to pull the same trick. At $4 a box, the cookies are over-priced as it is, but I never expected those slutty little wenches to cut the size of the fucking cookie box. I'd say they cut 10 to 12 Thin Mints per box. God damn whores.
Jesus. 10 O'Clock at night and I'm just now cracking my first beer. I truly wonder about my niece and her friends, they seem to be the most boring group of 20-22 years olds I've ever seen in my life. She left the house at 10 AM and returned at 9PM. What did they do? They went to Tupelo and hung out at the mall, came back to town, ate at the truck stop and the last I saw of them they were sitting in my driveway. No booze, no drugs, nothing. Then again I'd rather she be doing that then what was doing at her age.
You live in the south. They are probably sucking at the teat of jesus. And practicing anal sex. More along the "focus" The lady and I are currently at her parents house, as her dad is in poor health, so we visit and stay a night every other weekend. They got a new RV, so we are currently setting up the bedroom in here, and turning the place into our fort.
One of two things is happening here. 1) They actually are that lame. 2) They actually are that good at hiding whatever horrible, horrible shit they did for the 11 hours they were out of your sight. 11 hours. I've done a lot of stuff in a span of 11 hours.
They really are that lame. My niece trusts me with everything going on in her life. When she's not out here she calls me 4-5 nights a week just to BS. For 2-3 hours every night. What 20 year girl calls her uncle that often? I enjoy talking to her, but dear God, that's just not right. And I've met her friends, they are fucking weirdos. As far as hiding shit, dude I'm not that old. I remember being that age, the things I did, and how I hid it. They really do hang out at the mall and eat nachos at truck stop stone sober. They all act like they're my fucking age. And visa versa. I would've killed myself at that age if that was the most exciting thing I could find to do.
I met Jesus once. At a taco stand outside of Amarillo. He made me a burrito. With extra sour cream. It was delicious.
Nah man, that was fuckin Hey-Zeus. Big difference. You remember that saved by the bell episode where they invented buddy bands? Me and Jesus rock the fuck out of those.
Came home from hosting a wine dinner at work. Not too bad, even if a few folks canceled at the last minute. I'm rewarding myself with a little WT and soda. A small one, though, because I have to be back at work at 10. Boo.
No dude. I clearly, through one eye, saw his name tag. It read Jesus, not Hey Zeus. That would be calling forth a Greek god and I'm pretty sure Jesus would have none of that what with the whole commandment about worshiping false gods and all. I was just about to ask him about the meaning of life and then angels started making a ruckus. Either that or it was a Mariachi band. All I know is there were a lot of fucking trumpets. And then I threw up.
'The American President' is on. AJ: You fight the fights you can win? President: Oh come on... AJ: You fight the fights that need fighting! For the record, I'd wreck Annette Bening.
20 years ago, yes. Now? Not so much. Hell she's older the me. That would be like fucking grandma and that's just disturbing no matter how drunk you are. Nothing is going to be where you expect it to be. You might go to pat her on the butt and end up smacking a nipple because she's old and things are displaced.
I'm drunk and angry and kind of wish the advice board was still around so I could get unbiased advice from random internet strangers. Alack, looks like I'll have to stew in my own anger for a while because I have nobody in real life to go to for things like this anymore. It sucks.
Just picked apples off a tree, and put them into a pie in less than an hour. While drinking hard apple cider of course. I just noticed that someone changed my wallpaper to Taylor Swift. Sure it is nice to have a girl who wants to do Taylor Swift, but the wallpaper is a little fruity. Course, I should just change it to Kanye