I don't drink beer. So I'm going to be getting a sixer of Strongbow Hard Cider. That stuff is the shit.
The most depressing thing is sitting in a bar at 3pm on a Friday and not being able to drink anything. Even though there is no one here.
Then you can argue about which Sex In The City cast member you get to be and perhaps talk about shoes and squeal at kittens in baskets. Serious Parker, not even Heineken? That's a rare thing. In any dude.
A guy can hate football. A guy can hate facial hair. A guy can even hate Die Hard. But beer? That's like saying you hate your penis. And two thirds of the word "happiness" is 'piness!
Maybe we can set Parker up with Tweetybird's husband and they can discuss men's fashion and drink cider.
You can take his patterned socks, but you can NEVER take his NEWWWWWCASTLE!!! Or Anchor Steam. Or anything from Deschutes Brewery. Or that warm undercarbonated stuff from a cask they make in the UK. I could go on here... He did accidentally buy cider once, when we were living in London. Somebody never realized what the Strongbow brand is. He tried to drink it in penance for his stupidity but eventually the task fell to me. Cider tastes like college and bad decisions to me... a little slice of nostalgia isn't half bad!
It took me a while, but when I was 17 the first thing I threw up from drinking was cider. Grower's Granny Smith Cider. I remember it like another person would remember their rapist. It shoved my head in the toilet while ass-raping me with a nightstick wrapped in tinfoil. A HORRIBLE night. I still cannot even smell cider to this day without feeling a little queasy. They say that there's something about your first time...
Come on guys, maybe he is on a low carb kick, maybe he read Wheat Belly, maybe he is gluten intolerant....but yeah, more likely the gay.
That's no excuse. He could even drink one of theose uber-gay beers you have in The States like Michelob Ultra or some shit. Boy, THERE'S a beer to fill your fridge for your party to. Just pop open a few of these badboys and witness the magic and wonder of your guests checking their watches and suddenly realize it's time to leave!
Last night I watched my friend's band play in a bar that had Blue Moon on tap. Jesus, that's some orangey beery goodness right there. Definitely going to be making the effort to going to that bar more often from now on. Tonight after being recounted of some of my antics from my brithday, which included motorboating most girls in my proximity with large breasts - and getting away with it by saying "I know it's not ALLOWED, but it's my birthday, so I'm going to do it" I was described as being "a caterpillar of adorable quietness that then exploded into a slutty butterfly" Is it wrong that I want that engraved on my Tombstone? It does sum me up with elegant succinctness.
Well, being a chick, I have an excuse, I am going to drink a bottle of wine for your every beer. Until I reach 1.5 - 2, then I will pass out.
It's okay Parker doesn't drink beer. I mean ... I'm Canadian and I can forgive him without (much) prejudice. Maybe he has a gluten intolerance? This though ^ Not that there's anything wrong with that. edit: I'm getting drunk.
Don't you dare sully the name of gay sex by associating it with Michelob Ultra. Gay people have pride parades. People who drink Michelob Ultra have Anonymous Shame Meetings. Let's say I took home what I thought was an attractive woman, and it turned out to be a man -- well, that disappointment would have absolutely nothing on the way that I felt with I first tried Michelob Ultra, then looked up the alcohol content, and realized that not only would I be drinking it, like, literally forever, I would be getting no alcohol content out of it.