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We're Finding Nemo! Drunk Thread 2/8

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Nom Chompsky, Feb 8, 2013.

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  1. Parker

    Parker
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    Dr. Bruce said on the Adam Carolla podcast during his last appearance that diet pops as a mixer get people 18% drunker because the refined sugar gets absorbed by the body faster. 1 Drinking Redbull Vodka equates to drinking a bottle of wine in terms of changing blood alcohol level. Interesting.
     
  2. Misanthropic

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    Suddenly the last several years of my life make sense.

    In other news . . .drank copious amounts of cabernet and ate copious amounts of dark chocolate. I don't even care that I'm not getting laid tonight.

    Sweet Jumping Jesus . . .I sound like a chick.
     
  3. toddamus

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    And like a girl I'm sure you're going to cry yourself to sleep tonight as you eat a gallon of ice cream, because you know, no one loves you.
     
  4. Nitwit

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    Best Valentine song?

    Here.........
    <a class="postlink" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=7RJrNnRpVHg" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=p ... RJrNnRpVHg</a>

    .........or this one, from TX.; a few months back.
    <a class="postlink" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=OWlKZ6C7cDY" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=p ... WlKZ6C7cDY</a>

    What's yours?
     
  5. D26

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    I almost cried when the doctor said I couldn't drink any soda at all. Rum and diet coke has been by drink of choice for forever. He also highly recommended not drinking at all, as dehydration leads to more stones.

    No more fun!

    Of course that happens AFTER I hear about how I get more drunk by drinking with diet soda.
     
  6. Crown Royal

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    Just call me Topher

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    So, I just had a most amusing encounter with a dog.

    On my way home from class, the roads are super-icy in my nieghbourhood and while I'm driving thankfully slow a shadowy figure lumbers right out in front of my car from a line of cedar. I slam my breaks, quarter-turn the car and THINK it's a coyote since the new neighbourhood across the street has dozens of them that shriek all damn night, but then it runs up to the car.

    It's a gorgeous, gigantic Malamute and this behemoth looks like a burly Timberwolf. It jumps all over me, the friendliest a dog could be. I check for a collar and of course it has nothing but a walking harness on. I open the car door to grab my phone and the dog immedietly barges over the driver's side, sits down in the passenger seat and just looks at me as if to say "Where to, Jeeves?" So I drive it home to call animal control, and they won't do anything until 8am.

    So now I have the enormous dog in my back yard, howling its ass off in the most terrifying Werewolf tone ever because it obviously wants to go home and the owners don't know its missing yet. It's shaking my fence the way American college fans shake football goalposts when they beat the top team. Ever heard a Malamute howl?



    ....like that. Formerly sleeping and now not-tired-at-all daughter says: PUPPY PUPPY PUPPY PUPPY PUPPY PUPPY PUPPY!!!!
     
    #526 Crown Royal, Feb 14, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  7. silway

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    Honestly curious, I thought the point of diet soda was to *not* have refined sugar in it?
     
  8. Crown Royal

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    The reality of diet soda is pretty much the exact opposite thing that it advertises. It is not nice stuff.
     
  9. toddamus

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    I thought I was being funny earlier when I wished I wouldn't hear my neighbors having relations... For the last three hours I've been hearing constant club beats. The deep thuds that everyone recognizes from shitty bars and clubs. I don't care their fucking, just for the love of God turn down the bass. Its getting on my nerves. I'll have my revenge, so help me.
     
  10. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Too many morons don't realize what bass does. It has physical force and it shakes walls and floors. Some assholes just don't care, like the cool dudes who aim their speakers out their windows. Also: jerks who bounce basketballs on concrete untill midnight. All you hear is P-TUNG P-TUNG P-TUNG P-TUNG P-TUNG P-TUNG for hours and hours, refusing to let you sleep.
     
  11. AlmostGaunt

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    Urgent question: I find myself going to a Greek mythology-themed costume party tomorrow night, and I'm wondering what to wear. I'm a little bit tempted to go as Oedipus, i.e. wear a toga, get a giant heart-shaped box and write Mom on it. Top with a crown and bloody dagger and call it good. Question is, what am I missing? Is there a more iconic figure that I'm blanking on, or any way to improve on my current idea? Help me TiB you're my only hope!

    (My second choice was Dionysus, but the crowd is a group of 20 somethings and I think that a pine cone-topped staff dripping honey will only confuse them.)
     
  12. downndirty

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    Sometimes, you just have to have some Goddamned Hatebreed.

    This is one of those times:

     
    #532 downndirty, Feb 15, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  13. kuhjäger

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    Boom, Meteor over russia




    [​IMG]
     
    #533 kuhjäger, Feb 15, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  14. The Village Idiot

    The Village Idiot
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    Porn Worthy, Bitches

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    The point was raised earlier in the thread (and in fact, I did a thread about his months ago, but I'm sure it's buried under more crap than Jimmy Hoffa) -

    I can't find fucking news in the morning. I've tried Today, Good Morning America, and whatever is on CBS, MSNBC, Fox, and CNN. I tried BBC, but they don't show news at this time.

    Fucking HELP! I boycotted sports, so no Sportscenter. Where the fuck do I find hard news on TV in the morning?
     
  15. Rush-O-Matic

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    Geez, that's intense. Here's another one:


    I was listening to some call-in DJ this morning coming to the office. Some girl and her husband were having issues, and yesterday Valentine's was lousy for them. He wasn't giving her enough attention, and was boring, according to her. So, she text a picture of her boobs to a coworker. I would like to simultaneously condemn her actions and encourage others to do the same. Ladies, if your significant other isn't giving you enough attention, please, let me remind you: we're here for you.
     
    #535 Rush-O-Matic, Feb 15, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  16. Kubla Kahn

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    God, meteors HATE Russia.
     
  17. downndirty

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    <a class="postlink" href="http://jonmillward.com/blog/studies/deep-inside-a-study-of-10000-porn-stars/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://jonmillward.com/blog/studies/dee ... orn-stars/</a>

    This is really interesting.

    Also, I remember reading somewhere that the Year of the Snake (Lunar or Chinese calendar) has always been pretty bad for Russia historically. For whatever reason, it just coincides with a bunch of terrible shit happening in their history. I suppose you can add meteors fucking up Siberia now.

    The more you know, kids.
     
  18. Frank

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    It's bad stuff but it doesn't have sugar or corn syrup in it, they have artificial sweeteners (I'm assuming that's what Parker was referring to as the absorbing agent) which are arguably just as bad, but no sugar, that's why they're calorie free.
     
  19. T0m88

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    Can you imagine if this meteor shit had gone down during the height of the Cold War? We'd probably be looking at half a dozen nukes being launched before anyone figured out it was actually a rock from space.

    Speaking of which, I'm kinda sad the Russians didn't use the excuse to wipe North Korea off the map and then claim they thought it was one of those nuclear devices they're testing. I'm sure no one would have minded.
     
  20. Dude

    Dude
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    Hit a new college high (low?) last night and got lost and accidentally walked to a different town.
     
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