What kind of dressing would you like on your salad?

Ok people, get your ass tossed.

Would you let them kiss you aftewards?


A little hesitant, aren't we?


HYPOCRITES!!!!

 

I mentioned in the butt sex thread that I am definitely more than down if a girl wants to lick my ass. It feels damn good, real good. Add a little rusty trombone action and it is really the only legitimate time a girl over the age of 20 should ever be giving a hand job. Now I would never ask for that, but I would also never stop someone who is doing it and will encourage it.

As for giving, once when real drunk I returned the favor. It was not as bad as I expected and she was damn appreciative, but my preference is definitely not doing that. Again, as I have said elsewhere, I have not met too many hook-ups that do not like at least a finger up there (and many actively encourage it).

 

I'm just confused as to why we haven't started the "Which kind of dressing do you like to put on your ass salad while you're tossing?"

 

Yeah, but that's only applicable for naval officers.

Focus:
Let me put it this way:
I'll cut a piece out of the main sewer stack on my house. It's had shit running through it for approximately 20-25 years, much like a young woman. After I wash it with women's body wash and a loofah, would you lick it?

I sure as hell wouldn't You'd have to be either a sick fuck or retarded to lick that unless it was completely sterilized. And PVC is smooth, unlike an asshole, which is wrinkled and porous (and has more poop on deck, just on the other side of the balloon knot).

"But Danger Boy, the inside of your sewer pipe isn't washed everyday like a woman's butthole!"

Wrong. The volume of water, dish soap and laundry detergent is much, much greater than the volume of shit and piss that passes through there. It's not scrubbed with a loofah every day, but it's also a smooth plastic surface.



Thought I'd throw in a little something for the ladies*:

NSFW

http://www.efukt.com/20635_Hygiene_fail.html

*It should have Allord NSFW tabs.

 

I've done it a few times, and those few times, she's enjoyed it. I guess the ball and chain is a bit temperamental when it comes to it, but hey, whatever makes her feel good. That said, I don't ask her to reciprocate. There's a slight difference between the male and female asshole, as Philalawyer once famously described.

Ok, you're not shoving your tongue inside of it. I don't know what to say; I've put my dick pretty far inside there, why wouldn't I dare let my tongue touch the outside? It's not like I zone in on the damn thing immediately after she's had a bout with food poisoning. Women's vaginas have had gallons upon gallons of blood flow through, yet any amount of douching is bad for it; do you hold the same standard for eating out? Our underwear is in constant contact with said section of sewer pipe, yet we still wash it with the rest of our clothes.

 

When I first visited the anal/oral salad bar, the girl wound up getting a severe UTI and being hospitalized for several days. I've since raised my standards of cleanliness in that area.

 

But that's where poop comes from. Poop!

 

Usually it's tossed with jelly or syrup. I prefer syrup.

 

I ended up doing this a couple times to my ex-girlfriend, both times drunk and really getting into the oral. Wasn't planned at all. It was more of just the rim and it seemed clean. I didn't have any poop stains on my teeth after. I would probably do it again with another chick if she enjoyed it. It surprisingly didn't bother me at all. I didn't wake up the next morning and think "what the fuck did I do last night?"

I have no interest in having it done to me.

 

I haven't done it yet, but I'd probably tongue a girlfriend's rusty sheriff's badge if she asked, and was fresh out of the shower.

As for it being done to me, no thanks. My butt hole resembles James Lipton's face. A tangled jungle of hair that no one should venture near.

On a related note, a friend of mine swears that a finger up the arse while getting blown is just about the world's best pleasures. I'm not brave enough for that, either.

 

My first time doing this, me and an ex were pretty well wasted, and in the midst of 69, I ventured out. She enjoyed it enough, and after the first time, it was a "every now and again" sort of thing. I, very simply, did not ever think too hard about what I was licking. I don't have a hang-up about it, I just did it. When you think about it, not much is clean about sex (oral sex-you are still licking/sucking where pee comes out of, and your mouth contains an obscene amount of bacteria). With the current Next Ex, we haven't done that yet, but it has been included in discussions of branching out sexually.

The first time receiving, the ex was giving a rather enthusiastic blow job, and then just lifted the balls and sort of went for it (No finger). It didn't subtract from the experience, it felt pretty good. All things considered, I would have liked to do some maintenance down there before hand (I am part Wookiee), but she didn't complain and we were at a level of comfort that I didn't spaz out about it. It's not something I would request frequently, but in the heat of the moment a "go lower" would be acknowledged. I will share an invaluable piece of advice if this is something you will try: baby wipes. After, we both headed for the mouthwash en route to the shower. No mouth kissing after, and this became a pretty standard practice.

 

Had it done to me while I was in thailand, one hooker was going down on the brown-eye while the other was slobbing my knob. I've been hooked ever since. I've given it to chicks now and again, always after a shower.

 

So I wonder how many of the ones who voted "The Fuck" or it had just never occurred to them are kind of changing their mind. I'm not there yet.

 

I was introduced to doing it in college while going down on a girl that kept saying, "lower, lower, lower" until I finally took the hint. She went nuts, thrashing around, and had a pretty loud orgasm. She was clean and I didn't mind doing it in the least.

Of course young Fawkes immediately determined that this must work on ALL women which he soon learned was a mistake. One girl clenched up, brought her thighs/knees together and then kicked out like an Olympic swimmer, catching me right in the chest and sending me flying into a stone coffee table (I still have a nice scar on my back from that).

Since then I've pulled out the trick whenever I'm feeling a little dirty. I never tried it on some random I picked up at a bar or party and still won't do it unless I give the ole "sniff test" first. My nose is extremely sensitive and if I'm within a foot of the area I'll be able to pick up on any unclean scents.

As for having it done to me I've heard I like it when I'm drunk and have always been a fan of a little finger pressure around the area but not necessarily penetration.

Oh and Hidden Valley Spicy Ranch is the best besides the creamy parm-garlic house dressing a local pub uses.

 

Soooo.....what IS the coorect amount of time after administrating a rim-job before you can kiss again? Is their some shit-tongue expiry timer or is there a proper maintenance list that must be followed? Or you just a freaky Dirty Sanchez type?

 

Personally, I think that licking just the crack/around the brown-eye can be safely followed with closed-mouth kissing. Once you touch tongue to asshole, though, only non-face kisses are allowed after that. If you insert the tongue, no more kissing until your mouth has been rinsed with Listerine.

If you have proper hygiene, there actually isn't any grossness about it...as with everything else in life.

 

Like most people here, it's "the fuck" for me. Never had an inclination to give or receive. Though I would probably make an exception for the non carnivorous among us as I always thought it would be funny to ask a vegetarian if they would toss my salad.

 

I guess my screen name is fitting here...

Anyway, I will give, but not receive. As far as strategy goes. I lick, stick two fingers in the jinur with one hand, and flick the bean with the other hand. Kind of like giving the girl a rusty trombone.

 

Or, unless I've misread your post, absolutely nothing like a rusty trombone. Because that involves that anus and you're talking about the 'jinur'.

And how is your screen name pertinent to this discussion? I get that it means 'I see you you', but still-what?

I'm drunk and may be missing some subtlety here, but what?