We are celebrating my grandfather's 100th birthday today. Of course, he died in 1990, but in some twisted House of Usher sort of way, we will tell stories and swill gin in his memory. I love the South, but damn if we aren't a strange breed of humanity.
My boss told me as I was headed out that they ended up hiring the guy I suggested. Fuck yes. The guy will be perfect and if anything great for taking the trash out and hauling shit. I will finally have time for follow-up calls. I scored some free Twins tickets a week ago and they'll probably keep up their streak of getting trashed but I will too. I haven't been to a game yet this year so the Grain Belt will flow.
So my work computer has a ridiculous virus on it. The other night as I was shutting it down for the evening a window popped up for some sort of Windows security update. It looked completely legit so I let it install. The computers are always updating so I thought nothing of it. Evidently, I let it upload something that has made the computer completely unusable. It is less than a few months old. You would think if the owner of the company invests just under $200k in new equipment, he would also invest in virus protection software. But I guess that is too expensive. I remotely connected to the IT guy for the company who thought that putting Malwarebytes on the computer and letting it do a scan would solve all of our problems. It got rid of the visual aspect of the virus, meaning, all the pop up windows and bullshit are gone. It actually worked for a couple of hours but was progressively getting worse. (Internet would cut out. Software would freeze. Spontaneous shut-downs) Now it won't even boot up past the initial window that tells you it's a dell. The IT guy asks if I have tried to restart the computer. I seriously wanted to punch him in the face. Every time theres a problem, his big solution is to restart it and see what happens. He thinks we are all retarded. WIthout a computer, my job is impossible. I need beer.
I'm done with my last final and all my roommates are moved out. Now to watch Battlestar Galactica, drink Bud Light, and eat yogurt with fruit on the bottom. AWWW YEAH.
Fuck. My daughter and her new glasses go together like toothpaste and orange juice. I need a hit. NOW.
Haven't been on the board for the better part of this week, here's why: I've been on a business trip since May 1st, auditing a subsidiary company with 3 other guys. On Tuesday, one of the other guys decided to post a "Missed Connections" message on Craigslist, saying that a certain girl was the most beautiful girl he has ever seen and would compensate her for a night of sex. Somehow (and I have no idea how) she got wind of this and called the police. They immediately set up a sting operation whereby officers pretended to be her as they emailed him back and forth until Wednesday night. Eventually they were set to meet and when he went outside to see her, he was arrested on the spot for solicitation of a prostitute. I awoke around 1 am to a detective knocking and one of coworkers on my door asking me to come down stairs to the living room of the condo we were renting on the trip. In the living room was the other coworker and another 2 police officers. They questioned us for two hours about the guy; who he was, where hes from, did we know any of it, etc. Then they dropped the bomb: The specific girl he was trying to solicit was from the company we were there auditing. Let that sink in for a sec. The company we were supposed to be objective and professional just had one if their employees solicited for sex by one of our team. From there, corporate wide crisis mode ensued. The first fun experience was waking up my boss who just arrived on site that day and telling him what was going on. Then I had to call his boss, the department VP, and had to tell her the deal. She immediately called our EVP, the HR Director, and the company's legal counsel and we had a big conference call first the next morning on damage control, what to do if the press shows up, etc The next fun experience was having to walk back into that company's office the next day and tell management the issues we found in their practices, all while a big pink elephant is standing in the corner of the room. The guy was immediately fired and the girl is considering as sexual harassment lawsuit against him and possibly our company (to which she is legally entitled and I fully understand, but the suck-level goes up considerably.) So how was everyone else's week???
I was really hoping to come home to some good and interesting bikini pictures, but alas, nearly everyone have failed me. I didn't even know the WDT even have another purpose... Here is a little tattoo action for you all. NSFW
Bin Laden had porn, you say? <a class="postlink" href="http://www.foxnews.com/world/2011/05/13/extensive-porn-stash-reportedly-bin-laden-compound/?test=latestnews" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.foxnews.com/world/2011/05/13 ... latestnews</a> So many questions- Hardcore/softcore? All Arabs or does he go for the swirl? Is it full nudity or just the elbow? If there is such thing as Extremist porn, there has to be a porno entitled "72 Virgins". I'd rather see the porn he watches than his death picture.
I'm happy because I'm high. I am trying to decide if I want to get beer. The only real conundrum is that I have been cutting carbs and lifting pretty hard, as well as running. And eating cookies. Way too many cookies. It seems that my future new underlings love me and show this by buying the most delicious cookies. Double chocolate fudge macadamia nut rocky road perfection. Beer might completely negate the working out. Damnit.
Hnnngh, I can't wait to get the hell out of the States this summer. Rule #1 of Indonesia: No talking to American girls, period.
The only difference between myself and Ulysses S. Grant is that he didn't have ice in his Old Crow during the Wilderness Campaign.