It doesn't count until you brag to your Internet friends. Don't IT guys know anything? Yep, that's what I got as well. That was too short-lived. Quick, someone post another one!
Run over her foot, piss on the floor, short out your chair in the puddle and then flop around the floor like a fresh caught salmon. That'll show her your not playing around. You gotta roll hard dude.
I've had half a bottle of Absolut sitting in my freezer for the last several months, one that I hadn't planned on ever finishing because I remembered that I actually hate vodka. I decided to liven things up by adding some of it to my Gatorade. You know, because I'm bored. Yeah, it tastes as bad as it sounds. It's like a Smurf took a shit in my mouth. Fuck Absolut.
Well, just had a semi-confrontation with our shitty roommate that none of us like, telling him that basically he was moving out on Sunday and not staying for our Senior Week. If I'm stabbed in my sleep, I would not be entirely surprised. Dude is both a douchebag and insane. I'm gonna start finding excuses to spend as little time here as possible for the next 48 hours.
The bike is rather like bl1y: living with my parents where parking is free and safe, and the streets aren't jammed with traffic all day, and an hour away. Also it's night and I can't ride at night quite yet and it's raining and I was studying for the board exams all evening.
Nettdata pruning of crap that used to be here To keep this post from being 100% political, here are some chicks in bikinis: NSFW Just kidding, that girl isn't wearing a bikini!
Shit happens, also. I have seen really bad shit happen to people (some deserved, some not) that buck the odds in a mind-blowing way. It IS a huge coincidence, though. And the guy was fucking STUPID for posting something creepy and preverted on a heavily-trafficked website. I hope you kick him in the chops the next time you see him for screwing up your shit in such so bad. I mean, the BIGGEST FUCKING TABOO you could pull in a workplace, and Abracadabra: fucked six ways from sunday. Oh, and to lighten Juice's mood: my daughter, on her perpetual quest for clueless irony, on the day she gets her glasses collides with a full head of steam with a fellow two-year-old girl at the playground. The bounce of each other like exercise balls and it sounded like a watermelon hitting the sidewalk. SMACK. So She-Wolf falls to the ground without even flinching, but the other poor little girl bites her lips when she falls, and her mouth starts pissing blood. FUCK. ME. Good times. Everyone knew it was nobody fault, but I mean, What? Why? It's friday. The nice weather is here. I never stole anyone's newspaper. I've never molested anybody. What did I do? There's a thunderstorm rolling in. Maybe I'll get zapped. Home run.
I bump into folks quite often and then roll around on the ground like a wounded possum with hurt privates. No one ever calls it "Cute", "Adorable" or even "An accident." They just kick me and call me an asshole. Man, I miss being young.
Kiwis. I think they're a delicious fruit, but don't you think these things kind of look like your balls? Yes, I got fucked up. You get fucked up too, it's one of those nights.
I bought a six pack of Sam Adams' Summer Ale. I hope it's good, but it won't really matter, because I'll be fucked up after three of em.
I'm hammered. 8 beers and lots of bud. There are three cop cars blocking my car amd I need to go to the liquor store. Well, not me, but my car needs to go.
I aim low, what can I say. I'm sitting in an empty apartment with no pants and no food in the fridge. I'll take what I can get. Fuck me that's depressing. Time to go out.