[/quote] The only thing I could think was, "I bet he gives really good oral." Also, I have little sympathy for you people in dry spells! Except Wheelz, he beats me.
Kiss my ass (I will neither confirm nor deny that I have been drinking.)! Here's some awesome music: And here's some eye candy: NSFW
tibers, Since I'm drunk enough tO admit it is it bad I fucking despise most 20 year olds? the cool ones obviously exceptions. in what world is it acceptable where the first question you ask is What fraternity im in? Jesus Christ god is a fucker, were at the peak of attractiveness but everyone seems rEtarded. Am I crazy?
If you are the king of no vagina I get to be king of the friend zone. I can give you the guided tour if you like. Over there is the "Your like a brother to me bridge". We get a few jumpers every year. On the adjacent block is the shame shimmering pool where you can look at your reflection and realize just how sexually unattractive you are. And yes, the coup de grace, the Lap Dog Arch. Carved into it are scenes from the typical friend zone experience. Highlights include going shopping at the mall, fixing a girl's computer, and helping her move all her shit into her new boyfriend's apt.
Well a friend of mine had a BBQ today at which he told me there would be a cute asian who specifically requested my presence. I figured this meant I was getting laid tonight. Then not only do I not get laid, the cute asian doesn't even show up. WTF MIXED SIGNALS. On the plus side, I am quite drunk and I have a pastrami on rye in the fridge with my name on it. Here's some asian boobs so you don't have to feel as annoyed as I do.
Holy melancholy batman! What happened to TIB tonight? I don't show up very often but when I do I expect a little more piss and vinegar than this. Oh well, I've been doing some drunken, nostalgic youtubing tonight and I've forgotten how much I used to love this song which is very fitting given the current mood of the board right now. One slightly more upbeat:
They didn't lie when they said Prague's pubcrawl is the best in Europe. My head is throbbing so bad at the moment. So many beautiful drunk women. I had a great time. They did this thing called "Power Hour" where you could drink an unlimited amount of either beer, wine, vodka or absinthe shots. I've never got so fucked up in one hour. Amazing!~
You were going to explain how it's possible to go two years without fucking when you live with your spouse. Seriously? Two years? I don't understand how it could have not happened by accident in the middle of the night. New Hampshire kicks ass, it's the best northeastern state you* can live in. I usually need a shopping cart or two when I'm buying beer/wine/booze up there. *Assuming you're white and not on welfare.
If Gravitas is King of the Friend Zone, and HotWheelz is King of No Vagina, can I be the Ambassador between your peoples, since I am definitely a citizen of both nations? In other news, I managed to chip one of my molars on Thursday. On a fucking potato crisp. So I now have a delightful spiky-edged tooth, which is unfortunately not in pain - if it was, I'd get it fixed. Also, New Zealand raped the Springboks 40-7 in the Tri-Nations rugby match. That's a thrashing no matter how you sugarcoat it. In the old days, if a result like this happened, the Bok coach would've been fired before he'd even gotten back to the changeroom...
Am I a bad person for thinking this is utterly hilarious? Also, wasn't it a 2nd string South African side?
My citizenship in the Scootah Nation is in it's infancy, but it's a start. I wasn't on here much last night - whatever reason you're of thinking right now, is probably right. Giggity.
He used to follow me into the bedroom on Saturday mornings, lock the door behind us, throw me on the bed and bury his face in my pussy. Now? Nothing. I wonder how much of that has to do with the fact that he's 50. Or.... I look like Sam Kinison with tits. I'd dare you to top that but I don't think you can.
Well that seems redundant. Have you broached the subject with your husband? I mean 2 years is a long time, so has he explicitly stated he doesnt want to sleep with you or has it just not happened?
That's what you get for having daddy issues and marrying an older guy. Seriously, though, the time for half measures was gone about twenty three and a half months ago. Look him in the eye and say, "Fuck me. Right fucking now." If that doesn't work, punch him in the face and make him sleep outside with the dog.
Nooooo. I've sat here twiddling my thumbs hoping that someday, by telepathy maybe, my questions and prayers would be answered. Jesus, man. How fucked up do you think I am?! He says he's just not interested. Here is what I was in no condition to say last night: I caught him pulling some craigslist bullshit. (I was not snooping. His technologically-dumb ass accidentally put a link to the email address he was using on the bookmarks toolbar in Gmail on the family laptop that he'd been taking to work every night. It was an address I had never seen before. He feebly tried to blame it on a coworker until I did a password recovery.) Not sure whether he was posting or answering but it really didn't matter. He swears he wasn't/isn't sleeping with anyone else but he has cheated on me before and he's just generally full of shit (even he will tell you this) so I don't believe him. That mixed with the 2 years of no sex makes it glaringly obvious, no? He also swears it has nothing to do with me or my presumed unattractiveness but I'm not buying that line of crap either. Basically, my marriage is over, though with three small kids, we can't afford to live apart. I am in talks with a local fellow to get a little action (I put out my own fucking craigslist ad, goddammit) but with three kids home for the summer whose father works third shift, I have yet to find the time. Pray for me. *edit* Pardon the grammar and run-on sentences. I am still half drunk.