That's great, it starts with a milk shake Bacon, cakes, and hollandaise, America is not afraid Refined sugar cane, watching the hotdogs turn Oreo whole sleeves, dummy get your own sleeve Fed too much can't speak, grunt: "no strength." Elastic starts to stretch with fear can't hold back Unbutton button, refried bean dip, a burger on the fire at a fat camp site Meat sweats coming in a hurry, Dairy Queen flurry shoved down your neck. Seam by seam pants tattered, ripped, pleats popped. Look at that pig roasting. Eat them! Uh oh, overflow, dining hall's common food, it'll do Save yourself, serve yourself, world record feed me Listen to your heart beat, tummy On a meat and three plate meat goes on the right - right? You gastronomic, sauce goes on it, die by pie, feel like another slice. It's the end of a girl as we know it, It's the end of a girl as we know it, It's the end of a girl as we know it, Freshman fifteen.
I think I need a new signature. How about one of you TiB ladies post something sexually suggestive and clever that I can quote. Or, just post a picture your tits.
Time for some Terry Richardson, love this guy's work. I'm cracking my first beer of the weekend, so life is good. Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler
I'm at my parents' house with my older sisters, waiting to leave for my little brother's high school graduation. I hate graduations. I think I will appoint myself babysitter and take the babies on a walk instead.
Wha? What the hell do you do at your softball game that you're not drinking? I think you're doing it wrong. Unless you're a lesbian.
Valid. Well the game wasn't until 9:30 and I already have 2 DUI's so I tend not to drink before hand / during.
That little slut. She said she loved only me. I'm gonna go cry, eat cookie dough and watch Julia Roberts movies. I'm not a piece of meat. Sometimes I just want to be held. I'll be at the zoo when the Rapture occurs. If the animals float up in the air as well and attack the naked humans, I'll post pics.
NSFW I'm drunk. My parents are coming over for the end of the world tomorrow, pretty awesome considering they're driving 2 hours to see a couple they hate. Rapture has nothing on gas prices. Last Supper: Apricot encrusted Brie with Strawberries, Jumbo Spiced Shrimp with Holy Horseradish, Natty's Silly Crab Cake with a stupid dipping sauce, and USDA Prime Filet over grilled asparagus. Hey Zeus, do I even need to ask who the winner is here? Oh,
Spoiler In unrelated news, meh. I don't particularly care about this rapture thing, the doomsday is predicted all the time. What I'd really like to know is why this one is getting so much media attention.
Ahhh yes, a 12 pack of Killians and some hot wings after an 11 hour work day. I also sunburned the top of my damn head today too. I don't have much hair left on the very top of my head....le sigh. EDIT: Wow, I just took a pic of the top of my head and you know what I saw? Light shining off my bald scalp.
Sucks. We just ate all the 3" slices of rib roast. But no worries, as I just thawed out 2' of pork tenderloin and it's already on the BBQ. Our lower GI is going to hate us tomorrow, but tonight we are men charring flesh and drinking beer and smoking cigars. And browsing TiB on the iPhone from the dock. We're bringing Rapture in early.
Goddamn, I envy everyone else in the world with now, what with your rapture parties, your booze, your grilled meats, and your boobs. I also heard something funny on the radio this morning, it's kind of religious, so don't freak out, so I'll spoil it: Spoiler "So, Jesus died for our sins, correct? According to this whole Rapture, all those who have never sinned will go to Heaven tomorrow. You have never sinned, hence Jesus died for nothing. Don't let Jesus die a meaningless death." As a bonus, here's a chick having a little fun with herself:
Awesome day today. Friends just bailed to get their gear ready for tomorrow's fishing trip. The trees in my yard are in full bloom and it smells awesome. Here's the pork tenderloin being grilled earlier. Here's the super-secret BBQ sauce that spices it up a bit. (Use at your own risk). In all seriousness, the bear problems around my place are getting out of control. Wildlife guys dropped by again today to warn us, and I again asked if I could dispose of them myself. Their previous stance was "no you may not". Now? After he he saw the bear skin rug in my living room, and we talked hunting a bit, he said "sure... it's the worst we've seen it in years, and it's dangerous as hell around here. Just try to be a little discreet if you can." He then asked how I might do such a thing, and I mentioned crossbow, and he was relieved. I'm right beside a Provincial Park, so there are obvious concerns about proximity of rifle shots, just the sound of rifles (city folk tend to get a bit spooked by a .30-06 going off a couple hundred yards away). Still, he gave me a couple of the cans of bear spray (pic above) before he left... the Province's "official bear abatement program". Ha. Right. These are pics just from this week while I was working at my dining room table: And that's not the only thing... we've got a lot of coyotes as well. This one came right up to the window and looked in while I was working. It could hear me taking pics, but didn't know what it was. (I took about 20 pics, and each time the shutter would go, he'd cock his head trying to figure it out). I finally moved a bit, and he saw me , and fucked off.