I'm almost embarrassed to say that I have a bit of a vinegar collection. You can get vintages, just like wine, and it's NOT the vinegar you'd put on chips. None of it is $200, mind you, but it's not your typical malt vinegar you buy at the grocery store. Oh, and real men don't dry that shit out, they snort it raw.
I'm new to this shit, can't handle the unprocessed. I do as well. My roommate who cooks is kind of a connoisseur of fine foods, so I've been ramping up my tastes to something a little more refined. Fuck embarrassment. I like to cook with good products and if it means a decent salt or vinegar collection, then so be it.
Now this is a story all about how my life got twisted upside down and id like to take a minute just sit right there ill tell you how i became the prince of a town called Bel-Air In west Philadelphia born and raised on the playground my momma said most of my days chilling out, maxing and relaxing all cool and all shooting some b-ball outside of school when a couple of guys they were up to no good started making trouble in our neighborhood i got in one little fight and my mom got scared she said your moving in with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air i whisted for a cab and when it came near the license plate said fresh and had dice in the mirror if anything i could say that this cab was rare but i thought nah, forget it yo home to bel-air! i-pulled- up tp a house about seven or eight i yelled to the cabbie yo home, smell you later looked at my kingdom i was finally there to sit on my throne as the prince of bel-air
Really? You didn't even modify them at all, you just posted the lyrics straight outta some lyric site? Weak, 2/5 stars, would not buy from again.
Since a few of the lyrics there are wrong, it's possible that he typed em out. Honestly though, nice impromptu Fresh Prince digression.
And then there are people like me who got their DUI because they were driving on the wrong side of the road on a street that had a median. Don't worry ladies, I'm still single.
I would love to see someone start altering 80's sitcom theme songs to relate to The Idiot Board and its menagerie of fucked up individuals.
I had the most hilarious idea for a TiB comic that I want to draw up so fucking bad. Except I suck at mspaint and don't have the energy to do it. One of these days I'm going to get around to it, and you'll all worship me for the genuis I am.
I'm about 3 Wild Turkeys in. It's my dad's birthday, so I'm pretty sure I'll be having wine later and getting hammered. Not that I like wine, but my parents have so much of it. I think I'll sneak a bottle of white wine for late tonight. I bought the only bottle of Wild Turkey at the local bottle store. Awesome! Spoiler I was able to find more than just the Wild Turkey at my local (SMALL) bottle store. Holy shit, they had SO MUCH whiskey. Many different Glenfiddichs (Two different packaged 12 y/o's, 18 y/o and a fucking 30 y/o. That must be the shit), Crown Royal, Jim Beam White and Black label, Macallen (like three different ones), a bottle of Famous Grouse 30 y/o in a tin(about $250), Glenmorangie (all three varieties), various different Jack Daniel's (including single barrel), EVERY variety of Johnnie Walker, in addition to every local brand of whiskey (all cheap crap) and a Bells' Bell. I was astounded. I spent about twenty minutes perusing the bottles. An entire side of the aisle dedicated to whiskey. Wow.
Birthday weekend was very successful. Friday involved many whiskey sours, shots of tequila and staying up till 7am with the crew (well the half we could find) Saturday was sleeping till 5 pm and then smoking weed until I couldnt talk while watching Harry Potter and eating ice cream cake. Today is my actual birthday and I plan on eating a giant steak, cleaning up the apartment and more weed smoking, ....possibly in that order but probably not.
So, last night I decided to have a couple of beers because it had been a good week at work. The downside was I had to work today. When I got there, I was still a little drunk so all was good, but during the day the hangover kicked in which led to two things: bad guts, and hating everything and everyone. I nearly shat myself which thankfully a mad dash to the bogs avoided, and in spite of wanting to murder every mother fucker I laid eyes on, I forced myself to be civil. I am now working through a case of beer to counteract my shit day, happy in the knowledge that I have tommorow off. Oh, and because I know that you all really need to hear this, the shits I took today were like my ass was sneezing mucusy brown phlegm into the toilet. And just before I left work, I done a sick.
This reminds me - the last time I got really drunk, I vomited, mostly due to carsickness, and hit the sack. I did not have the hangover shits the next day. The previous times I got drunk, I did not vomit. To make matters worse, I also ate McDonalds. And I did have some horrible hangover shits. A connection? Probably. The moral of the story is, bullemia works.
Don't blame ssycko for being angry, ssycko just unhappy that a single, white lesbian cannot get a holla in this day and age. I was really drunk last night, I hardly remember this amazingly fancy meal I created out of bread and oil. Wish I did though, that shit is tasty.
My mom just dished up a trifle that had so much booze that I can barely feel my fingers. Every single bite just tasted of pure rum (yes, a trifle should have brandy. Fuck off). After seven drinks, the rum was strong enough to taste. Jesus. I'm so hammered I have to concentrate to type coherent shit.
Everyone is calling with birthday greetings and I may have just agreed to have another party here tonight. The fact I quit my job and have nothing to do tomorrow is not lost on my friends.