At a D cup, I have just gotten used to looks. If the guy is too damn obvious then I usually will make a comment because that is weird and creepy. I'll make a joke of it, rarely do I feel that being a bitch is going to make the situation any less awkward. It tends to happen due to my height, many short men forget to to look up to my eyes when talking. I don't really dress with concern about cleavage unless it's just too low to wear to specific places (like work). I am well aware of the primitive urge to look at titties and it only makes sense that ya'll are going to look. Just don't be an ass about it. edit: The only time a "creepy, old guy" actually creeped me out was when I was waiting for my son to use the bathroom at the grocery store. I was standing with my other son near a display of various summer sausage. This old guy walks up and asks if I am trying to "find the right one" and suggests that his "is the best." All this innuendo in front of my five year old reduced me to an evil glare after a couple of minutes, I ended up sending him on his way. That was fucking creepy.
That's a clear case of signal degradation. The more surfaces that the boob light particles (boobicles) bounce off before they get to your eyes, the less the intended effect of displaying cleavage (an unannounced visit to bonertown). This can be clearly and logically explained to anybody and they will immediately understand. It's just science.
Mmhmm, sweater puppies. TheGirl is aware there are a few shirts that will get an immediate response from me, and since realizing that I think she has started to wear them more often. With great power comes great responsibility - how am I supposed to ogle other women when she keeps putting this shining beacon of bosom right under my nose?
One former co-worker was only a B cup, but never wore a bra, and frequently had her top 2 or 3 (occasionally 4) buttons undone. She was quite obviously putting them out there to be seen, and I made no attempt to hide my glances. The office isn't the same anymore without her around, but I'm more productive.
Loke's post reminded me of this: The girls will get a glance from me, but I'm more of a toned legs/butt man, so if those are on display I'll try harder to get a good enough image for the ol' brain database.
I think I turned into an ass man because it's harder to get caught staring at a girl's butt. Adaptation ensures survival of the species. My problem is I forget to look away. So I glimpse, then... "Wow, she's just all out there. Her skin is tanned, beautiful. I wonder if she has dark nipples too? They look amazing. It's hot today. Did I lock my car? Whatever. I bet she's got a little Puerto Rican in her. My crotch itches. Boy, this ice is melting too quick. I have to remember to pick up that book. Man, she has a gorgeous figure. Where's our waiter? Service here sucks. I'm going to order the... oh, shit, look UP, asshole." Went to dinner with a girl. She wore this cotton top with a plunging neck line and no bra. Her nipples were very prominent through the fabric. Come on, dammit, I'm only so strong. If I actually like someone I admire them like I'm looking at a painting. Something truly beautiful. Admittedly, it is rude and I usually catch myself before it's obvious. As I looked back up, arching my eyebrows like I misheard a question, our eyes met. I couldn't do anything but laugh. She didn't seem to mind. She knew I worshiped her body and all the lines. Her figure was magic. I would have consumed every inch of her right there. This is one of few instances where it was taken as a compliment. Usually I zone out for like 5 minutes with this glazed expression on my face. Sometimes the look appears like contempt. Very confusing.
So, it's things like this that make me a wee bit angry. I have giant tits, there's nothing I can do about that, and I've accepted that they're going to get looked at. Obviously that is sometimes flattering. HOWEVER, I think you're missing a couple important things here. First, like lostalldoubt mentioned, it is SO hard to deal with huge boobs and dress modestly. My high school had a modesty code and frequently I got detention for wearing an immodest shirt when the girl next to me, who had smaller breasts, was literally wearing the identical shirt. If you're not plus size/into mumus, pretty much all of your options involve a significant amount of cleavage or make you look cartoonish. (turtlenecks and crewneck shirts make my boobs look even bigger. Modesty factor gone. What is that?) Second, there is glancing or whatever, and I've totally accepted that as part of my life, but I commute to and from work and there are guys who will just sit there and stare at your tits the ENTIRE way to work. Or guys on the street who will glue their eyes to your boobs and just staaaaaare as you go by. That is not flattering, it does not matter whether they are attractive, it makes me intensely uncomfortable. I make an effort to look nice, and when I go out at night I definitely put the girls out there and then fine, tell me I'm asking for it, but I think this argument that men have no responsibility here is silly. It's not like I'm someone who yells at guys for looking, or ever even really comments, but I certainly am uncomfortable with it periodically.
Gawl, a girl wearing one of my simple white undershirts with her breast pushing out on the cotton, I'll be back in a minute.... I feel like I have less control than most on this subject, or maybe just don't actively try to avert my gaze as much as others. I won't stare like a lecher but I do try and catch a peek more than the socially acceptable number of times. It probably makes me a creeper but ehh, life is too short not to look at something that pleases me. Wasn't there a girl on here that complained about guys staring at her rack even though she had a huge billboard sized tattoo above them? As I remember there was a big argument about whether or not she found the dudes attractive if they were creepy or not. I don't think guys are intentionally staring because they want to make you feel uncomfortable. Just trying to get some joy into their normally fucking boring lives. You're making them momentarily happy simply by what god gave you. I think it should be spun into a positive light. God forgive the women that want to take that power away by campaigning to having them fully uncovered in public.
Why in the hell do all of you nerds feel you need to hide that you're looking at boobs. I'm not saying you should walk up to her and stand on your tippy toes to stare down her shirt or whip your head around and glue your eyeballs to her hypnotically undulating bosoms as she prances past you, but if a nice pair comes a' bouncing by there's nothing wrong with taking a glance and going about your business. If she notices you checking them out, so-fucking-what.
That may be, but I still think there's a difference between a glance, a glance that lasts a little bit too long, and staring at my tits for 20 minutes during a train ride. It's not really like I do anything in reaction to said stares, except become totally paranoid about whether there's a crazy stain on my clothes/my skirt is tucked in to my underwear/there's spinach in my teeth. But no, they're just staring at my tits. I guess it's good my discomfort can make their day happier? Do consider, though, if I spent 15 minutes just STARING at your crotch. Would you not start to feel a little squirrelly?
I'd think you wanted to have sex with me. Which, amazingly enough, is exactly what the guy staring at your tits is hoping you are thinking about him.
This is a great time to make fun of him for staring. Loud enough for everyone to hear, of course. Staring is still rude, folks, listen to your mama.
Appropriate: Staring IS creepy. That's why along with dark sunglasses I carry around a blind man's cane, tapping random shit while I ogle those babies. SMART.
Amen to that. I'm just appreciating the piece of art that is the human body. Well, some human bodies anyway. But then again, everybody loves a good train wreck. So when I take my one-two second glance at a pair of boobs, don't take it personally. It's pretty much reflex at this point.
There are a thousand ways to add a little 'modesty' to an outfit if you've got bigger guns than the U.S. Military. Camisoles under v-neck sweaters, doubled-up sports bras when you go for a run, hell, I've wrapped a tensor bandage around my chest to keep the girls at bay before. I'll willingly admit that if I'm wearing a wrap dress, I want you to look at my tits. Not leer, admire. There's a difference. If your jaw is on the ground, or you can't actually find my eyes to carry the conversation, that's kind of creepy, but if your eyes linger a few extra seconds and I get the nod of approval? That's why I put on the low-cut shit in the first place. After all, I wouldn't wear lipstick if I didn't want people looking at my mouth.
How about this: If you suspect what you're doing would make somebody uncomfortable, don't do it. It doesn't matter what you think they intended when they got dressed that morning.
To me, displaying cleavage is like my tattoo. I have a unique half sleeve and people stop and ask me what it is if it's showing. I wear long sleeves to prevent the attention. Moral of the story: cover up if you don't want it something noticed.
Couldn't that go both ways? Women know what they look like and what's hanging out before they leave the house. I think the issue then becomes noticing/appreciating vs. leering/staring.