You Cook Like You Fuck

My brother was also like this growing up. "Just the patty and the bun. Just the patty and the bun. No cheese or ketchup at all. Just the patty and the bun!" He also wouldn't eat pizza unless it was just crust and pizza sauce. Thankfully, spending the last year in Europe has really broadened his food horizons and he can now eat like a normal person.

 

Sometimes it does. Like the guy who's hand and fork are like a steamshovel in overdrive, with the food spilling out of his mouth almost as fast as he's putting it in. Yeah, that's going to impact my enjoyment of my meal. Or the person who eats so slow, she's still working on her salad while everyone else is finishing their entree. Step it up sister, I'd like to be home before midnight. And the worst: the talker-with-food-in-his-mouth. Part of his meal always ends up on someone else's plate or worse, someone else. Partially masticated Chilean seabass? I'll pass.

Focus: Do they maintain eye contact when listening and speaking?

 

Sure, but what your'e talking about here is manners and not food preferences, so I guess I should've clarified what I meant: I don't get why anyone would would give two shits about how someone else preferred their food, unless they themselves were tasked with providing to the discerning person. I mean it's not even on my radar at all; to use another poster's example I wouldn't even notice that someone specifically ordered a burger with just a bun and patty, let alone make some sort of value judgement about it. It's so inconsequential and arbitrary, why even waste a second's thought on it?

 

I'm a picky eater...

I won't eat casseroles. I don't like my food to touch on my plate, why would I mix it all up before it even gets to the plate? Yuck. I do like lasagna which I'm told is a casserole, but it's in nice layers and not all mixed up so that might be why.

I hate mayonnaise/miracle whip with a passion. I'm also not a fan of mustard or ketchup, unless I'm eating fries then I'll dip them in ketchup. I actually don't even put anything on my burgers, I'm not a fan of condiments.

Lettuce, gross. I can eat a few bites of salad without whining about it but I've just never liked it. I do like salads made with baby spinach though. I'll pass on tomatoes as well.

I hate beans in any way shape or form (green beans don't count, they used to be the only vegetable I would eat) except in chili where I probably put in an equal amount of beans and meat. I don't know why I love beans in chili but won't touch them anywhere else. I'm weird.

Sadly, I'm a lot better than I used to be. I'm not scared to try things and I'm usually polite and eat whatever is being served but that doesn't mean that I enjoy it.

I also do this. Though in this scenario I would work on the steak first, there's nothing worse than getting full before you get to the best part.

 

I am not a picky eater at all, and will try most things once even if they sound awful. But I do not like onions very much. I don't like them raw at all, but can tolerate them when they are cooked.

And water chestnuts can fuck off. They serve no purpose except to make food have a crunch that should not have a crunch, and they have no taste. Chinese food?? Broccoli/cheese/rice casserole? Ruined with water chestnuts.

 

I eat my food fast. It is a bad habit that I picked up from my dad. He was on submarines for 20 years so he ate his food really fast out of necessity. You could put a plate of food in front of him, and it would be gone in under a minute. I watched him eat growing up and picked it up.

I have a friend who is tall and at the beginning of college was rail thin. He was the pickiest sob on the planet. He lived off of PBJ, pizza and junk food. He ate massive amounts of the plainest food you could imagine (he didn't even like steak), and never gained weight. One day he ate 3lbs of peanut butter M&Ms.

Luckily he got a girlfriend, and started branching out the foods he ate, and finally ate a much wider group of foods.

Unfortunately his body wasn't used to getting actual nutrition so he started porking up.

Me, I won't eat mushrooms. I just don't like the texture of them.

I am an expert at eating around them. Except on pizza. You can't pick them off, they just impart a musky flavor to the whole pizza.

 

Raisins are my omega nemisis, and do not even make the stupid attept to hide them in food. dried fruit, dried heaves.

 

Alt. Focus: Make fun of picky eaters, because those guys bug the hell out of me.

My in laws, including my wife, are the biggest lot of picky fuckers on the planet, every time they order they make a change no matter if it is fast food or a nice sit down place. I will have the blah blah but instead of blah I want blah on it and I want the blah blah on the side and could I have an extra blah to go with the chinga dera. My brother in laws kids are being raised the same way and they only eat hotdogs and cheeseburgers.

People that are picky eaters do not do well in the outdoors or on water.

I will eat almost everything, I have only two things that I do not really like and that is salmon eggs in large quanties and canned mushrooms, but I will eat them if they are served to me. Also I do not really like organ meat unless it is from something that has just been killed.

 

So... I don't feel like it very often, but when I do it, I put a lot of care and effort into it, 'cause hey, I like to enjoy the food I'm eating. Although sometimes, I just want to whack off and go to sleep. What were we talking about again?

 

Focus: What small cues do you look for to tell you about someone's personality?
I hate to be one of those music elitists, but a persons music tastes definitely say a lot about the person. If they stick to one genre and one genre only, that tells you they are not very adventurous for example.

Alt. Focus: Make fun of picky eaters, because those guys bug the hell out of me.[/quote]
I can say without a doubt I used to be a fast eater. Mine was out of necessity because I always had to eat inside of a vehicle and on the run. I've been getting better about it since I quit that last job though.

The only things I can say without a doubt I don't eat are papayas and olives. Papayas taste like vomit to me. The olives is weird because I make a lot of my cooking with olive oil, I just don't like eating the actual solid olive.

 

Because that is the point of this thread. I don't understand why somebody would waste a second of time to post in a thread that they think is inconsequential and arbitrary.

 

I'm not a picky eater but I don't like pickled food other than pickles. Also most squash when served mashed will make me gag.

I cook and eat by whim. I'll take a cursory glance at what mains I have for ingredients and then consider a flavor or taste I'm in the mood for and then jump right in. 99% of the time measuring devices are for people with terrible hand eye coordination and estimating abilities.

I serve and eat my food the same way. I know people who FREAK if their potatoes touch their corn on the cob or if steak juice gets into their asparagus. Fuck that. Better not let me fill your plate Nancy.

 

For those of you who don't like to mix up your food (you're psycho), I present the greatest meal ever invented.



I have a buddy who, when he goes to Chipotle, will order a burrito with only rice, chicken, and cheese on it. No sour cream, guac, beans, salsa, or anything. When probed about this selection, his response is, "it's what I like". I dunno, I think the more stuff you can put on a burrito, the better.

 

I'm not a picky eater at all. In fact, I like most things that even other non-picky eaters would turn down. I love pickled herring, sardines, anchovies, smoked oysters, kippered herring, you name it.

For the best breakfast of all time, take a bagel and cream cheese. Slice an onion really thin. Take any of the above fish and put it on top. Put onion on that. Eat till your heart's content. I tend to eat this with my dad or alone. Many non-believers can't handle the smells, which are wonderful. I will spare them out of courtesy. Its also best to avoid to close human contact for the next few hours.

I find cooking to be very therapeutic. Watching food turn delicious and knowing you are feeding yourself more healthfully than you would at a restaurant and at a lower cost is always nice too. I love spending 5 hours pan-cooking a pork shoulder and watch it become delicious carnitas.

BTW: I don't eat the failure pile in a sadness bowl. Listen to Patton Oswalt's skit on the KFC bowls.

 

I have a friend who won't eat any kind of vegetable. If she gets a burger she just wants the meat, condiments, and bun. It's like eating with an 8 year old. She refers to vegetables as "rabbit food" as if she's above eating them. Shockingly, she could stand to lose a few pounds.

When I was a kid I was a really picky eater. When my family went out to eat Mexican food I'd order a burger. Italian restaurant? Macaroni and cheese. Etc. One time at McDonald's my mom ordered a "plain burger with no lettuce, onions, or tomatoes" for me and they interpreted that as two buns with mustard inbetween. Looking back, that's kind of awesome.

 

Maybe a KFC bowl eaten immediately might be alright but after 10ish minutes in the packaging everything rubberizes. Disgusting.

The greatest mishmash I eat are the burrito bowls from Chipotle. Ask them for all three meats, both beans, and corn + green salsa in smaller quantities per. Delicious.

 

I never understood this.. If steak is your favorite of the three, why eat it last? To me, it makes more sense to eat it first. If you eat it first, it is still hot, and you are at your hungriest earlier in the meal, meaning it is more satisfying. Eating it last lets it get cold/cooler while you spend your time filling up on the less wanted items on your plate, then by the time you are half way thru the steak, you're not even hungry and the meat has gone cold. Leave that fate to the side orders!