Well, every time anything is discussed on this board there is a massive amount of hyperbole and anger. Like the Hunger Games? Don't like Twizzlers? Here's the form post you can slightly edit: I don't think registries are good or bad. How can they be more callous or greedy than suggesting nothing and just leaving people with no option besides giving cash? If I'm close with the person, I ask them to pick out a poster/painting they like and let me buy it for them. My main objection to wedding gift culture is being invited to a reception of a distant family member or acquaintance. This bugs me for two reasons: 1. Giving a gift of $100 or $200 is a lot less of an inconvenience than getting dressed up to go to a 5 hour event far from my house where I don't know many people, and the person I know best will be too busy to spend any time with me. It makes me suspect that I got an invite because the groom didn't have as many people on his guest list as the bride. As a general rule, if I don't get invited to the bachelor party, I'm not going to show up for the wedding. 2. Then again, maybe they don't want me at the wedding in the first place; maybe there's a strategy to invite everybody they can, because even if you can't attend, the etiquette is to send a check. That way, the happy couple can pocket the money without even having to cover the cost of the plate.
Slightly off topic as it isn't about registries but is about weddings. The GF and I have talked and if we ever get married, we agree that instead of paying a photographer $4000 (really?! $4000 to snap pics and edit them in photoshop? fuck you) paying some obscene amount for a wedding cake, renting a place etc etc etc, we'd take the $20,000 (average cost of a US wedding) and take all our close friends on vacation with us. Pretty ridiculous that we could take our 10 closest friends on a week long cruise, with airfare for less than a wedding would cost for one night. Most people in the wedding industry are a bunch of vultures.
While being here, I missed two of my close friend's weddings. I feel shitty about it and I decided to splurge on a gift after the ceremony because no one in that part of the US has been the places I've been, so anything I bring back would be more authentic than some Bed, Bath and Beyond horseshit. These buddies are different because I was truly, sincerely happy they were getting married. I would have had no problem celebrating their union and I am excited about gift-giving. If I was pressed for time, cheap, lazy or indifferent about the wedding, I would have done the registry thing or, at a minimum given cash. As such, I don't like standing in a department store looking at a giant list of shit I refuse to own. I don't care what your fiance says, she does not need a "hot tub for her feet" and I am not buying it for her. You do a registry for your retarded uncles who you haven't spoken to since you were 11 and don't know what you want or like. I know these couples, so I should be excused from picking off of a list. These are people that I have spent the time and effort to remain close with and feel comfortable buying something for their home, and I would hope they would feel comfortable doing the same for me. On a side note, this is the most grown-up thing about gift-giving I have ever written.
While I'm slightly biased, as I shoot weddings as a side business, I can assure you that the bulk of that $4k goes to legitimate costs of doing business. Being a self-employed photographer is FUCKING EXPENSIVE. Taxes, insurance, equipment... Even if that photog books 26 weddings a year (rare), I doubt s/he's going to clear $30k by the time the smoke clears. Also, editing 2,000+ pictures in photoshop is REALLY time consuming, and takes skills most non-photographers don't possess. Focus: I've always dreamed of having guests contribute to a fund, which we would take to a coffee producing country (say Costa Rica) and spend a week building shelters and helping coffee farmers better their way of life. I would assume that guests would feel much more satisfaction at seeing how their contributions directly affected someone in need, rather than pots and pans for my girlfriend and I, who can cook just fine on the old cookware we have.
You clearly have no idea what goes into that. Spoilered for length, but in essence, if you think photography is "snap pics and edit them in photoshop" then fuck you, too. Spoiler You're hiring a professional who is bringing tens of thousands of dollars worth of gear to your wedding, and likely at least one other human being. He or she will then spend multiple hours and employ a lot of years of experience to frame and capture photos that, if they are any good, you would not have been able to capture even if you had the equipment and a person willing to shoot with it. That person will then bring the photos home, likely to an expensive ($2000?) computer, and edit them in a $500 application, with a $500 color calibrated display, and spend ten hours culling and editing. This is on top of what is likely to be at least one or two meetings, whatever phone calls that are dealt with, showing you proofs, etc. So $4000 is buying you probably 15 hours of someone's time, maybe $30k worth of camera/computer gear, and whatever experience and artistic vision that photographer possesses which is not obtainable at any price. That person is also saddled with all of the other disadvantages of a small business, like not being able to count on work all the time, taxes, health insurance, etc. There are a lot of things about weddings that are rip-offs. The photography isn't even in the ballpark and might be one of the few areas where you can actually get your money's worth. Focus: I've always thought a destination wedding would be pretty cool if I were to get married. Instead of spending $20k or more on a party, invite just a couple of your closest friends and/or family and go somewhere cool. I mean, instead of getting married at some building where a hundred people every year get married, how about on some island in the Maldives, and go scuba diving after?
I went to a buddies wedding in Vegas. They paid for a photographer and were debating on which type of package they wanted to spring for after. With my keen eye for framing shots and snapping candids with a newly bought Sanyo they paid for the smallest package from the real photographer (plus his time fees) and made a book out of the pictures I took which was given to his family as thank you gifts.
I'm not saying all photography packages or photographers are worth it. As a matter of fact, a friend of mine got screwed by their photography agency and were very happy that I happened to bring some of my gear to take pictures to supplement the guy that showed up. I'm just pointing out that writing off $4000 as a completely unreasonable dollar figure for the amount of work, equipment and talent that could potentially be involved is just ignorant.
I'm cheap as hell so there is no way I could warrant 5k+ for pictures. A friend of a family member offered to do it for free. Apparently this guy is a photographer by trade. I looked at his stuff online and holy SHIT. Having nice equipment does not make you a photographer. His pictures that he was showing off on his webpage were the shittiest shits I'd ever seen. On the other hand, my sister is really pretty good. Not professional level, but she has a camera with good resolution and a good lens and takes very solid and artistic photos of her kids and other stuff. She's kind of design minded in general (landscape architect by education and then she also sews kind of modern and designy stuff for people around town and on her etsy shop)....so I got her to do it, for free, as her wedding gift to us. I guess what I'm saying is...photographers are expensive, even the cheap ones. Ffs, even the free ones. I got lucky with a sister who is as talented as she is, but there are work-arounds for most wedding "problems."
Edit: And yes, I'm aware that this is a big thing to ask of a family member. It worked out with us for a variety of reasons but I know that a lot of people wouldn't have been up to it, or that a lot of families aren't set up like mine.
I was lucky in that my best man's brother was launching his wedding photography business around the time of my wedding and so I got a really good rate. I think it was something like $500 and the results were just amazing. It worked out all around as they've now been used by most of the slew of friends in our circle who have been getting married of late.
Jesus Christ, I could get David La Chappelle to photograph weddings for cheaper than what some of you people are mentioning. I have DJ'ed about 115 weddings. $500 is a reasonable price for photography, since I actually charge LESS than that and unlike the photographer I'm not a pushy asshole 90% of the time who demands everything in the wedding to go their way, and I don't leave a quarter of the way through the reception. Apologies, but the one and only person I have issues with at weddings are photographers, since the majority of the ones I have encountered (including my own wedding) are thieving, lazy pricks. Personal opinion, sorry. I refuse...REFUSE to believe that any photographer on the face of this earth is worth thousands of dollars for one night. Fact: The price is almost exclusively expensive not because of skill or quality. It is expensive because it has the word "wedding" in the title. Don't believe me? Go down to a jewelry store and look at "engagement rings". Then, look at the same approx. quality rings that are simply "diamond rings". Note how one is three times as expensive as the other? I dare you to guess which one. Most of the time, wedding photographers are expensive because they simply CAN be. It's Fuck You Talent. Here's a tip: know somebody that can use a camera well, and hire them for one tenth the price. If your photographs for your wedding are so important to you that you're willing to shell out huge cash, then there's something wrong with you. Tell me how many times you'll look through your wedding photos a month after your wedding in your life. I'll give you a hint: you'll be able to count how many times on the hand of a spastic wood shop teacher.
It's okay, we're all entitled to our own personal opinions. Of course, your personal opinion is completely ignorant and not based in reality. But that's cool. It's just an opinion.
I did not realize you come from a long line of wedding photographers who enjoy ripping people off. You have to be high off your ass on airplane glue to think a wedding photographer is worth $4000, in ANY aspect. That is almost two months pay for the average American or Canadian. They're photographs, not the Golden Plates Of Mormon. Please explain to me in detail how one night of holding a camera and the ensuing editing stacks up to busting your ass for two months since I'm so ignorant and out of check with reality.
$4000 is not reasonable for all photographers or all photography packages. Not even most photographers or photography packages. It depends on the specific talent level of the photographer and the services they are expected to provide. However, $500 is only reasonable for newbies starting out, friends/family, or people who like working for free. There's no way you're getting out of a wedding without 10 hours invested in it between setup, planning, event and post-processing, which means you're working for $50/hour at the absolute best, on a gig where you MIGHT get 20-30 bookings/year on a good year, with a crap ton of expensive electronics that need to be continually updated and providing your own unpaid transportation. That equates to about $15k/year. Yay for ripping people off. Not to mention photography requires practice, so your time invested isn't limited to when you're on assignment. This is not unique to photography. As a good IT contractor, I booked my time out at $100/hour, leveraging a skill that requires very little that cannot be learned by anyone (vs. artistic talents which are not 100% teachable), providing little equipment, having no assistants, and having reasonable assurance that I had steady year-round work. Does this mean I was raking in $200k/year? No. Built into that cost is travel time/vehicle costs, time lost going customer-to-customer, overhead for health insurance, taxes, paying for my own certifications & materials, seasonal variance in demand, sick or vacation days where my income is zero, and a hundred other small financial drains that occur when running a contracting business. edit: sorry, done with the thread derailment.
I tend to side with the gouging because the bridal industrial complex says so. 4k can be worth it for some of the artistic intangibles but you better be damn sure he/she is good and consumerate with the event. Since the rise of digital photography and photo editing software the only advancements they need to keep up with are copy/pirating software. When we did my senior pictures (a much bigger racket) my mom's best friend's husband had worked most his life as a proffessional phototagrapher. He scanned my photos and edited around the security measures so we didn't have to pay the jacked up prices for something that has really no business being that expensive in the first place. Particularly since the time and materials are much much cheaper because of the digital revolution. Contract IT work is a very bad comparison btw. Anyway I'm getting a gun for any lifelong friend. Saftey razor and brush set for everyone else.
I'd hope you charge less than that. Your job is to press play and stand there. Anyone can fucking do that. And I mean anyone. Hell now adays you can set up a play list on Itunes and press play once. I know, I know, the disco ball doesn't spin itself. or does it?
I like how this thread turned into a bunch of guys bitching about photography prices. Anywayyyy...I definitely picked up some great tips so thanks TiBers!
It's not as easy as just pressing a button. There is going to be people who argue DJing isn't the same as playing an instrument. I can assure you beat matching, reading crowds, and mixing things in the same key is not an easy task. Legitimate DJing is NEVER just pressing a button. $500 for a wedding DJ is very reasonable. Any legitimate DJ can command more than this at a club in a single night.