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You wash your towels every day?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by JoshP, Jul 27, 2011.

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  1. Rush-O-Matic

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    Screw that. All the stand-up wipers are dragging their ass across the comforter and using towels to wiped their hand-spilled slurped out toothbrushing water that they wiped up with the towel.
     
    #81 Rush-O-Matic, Jul 28, 2011
  2. Devils Advocate

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    This right here, is the funniest thing I have read all fucking day.
     
    #82 Devils Advocate, Jul 28, 2011
  3. CharlesJohnson

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    This thread is giving me the fucking creeps. You shit-ass, butt smearing, mold making, mush mouths make my skin crawl. It's a fucking John Waters movie in these 6 pages.

    If the next post isn't "I used a towel full of black mold... why does it smell funny? What a weird taste," I will be shocked.

    Somehow, SOMEHOW, the baffling technology of a towel rack is too much to comprehend. In the fucking MILLENNIA towel racks have been around, in some permutation or another, it is impossible to improve upon. Not good enough for some unless an android maid hangs it up on a self heating rack. My god. I weep for our future... because they'll all be soggy and have shit caked inside their asses because they stand up to wipe. Fuck it. You can't even get this right. Just go in the shower and pull clumps of shit out with your hand, toe it down the drain. You lose the right to civilized lavatories. Instead you get hosed off like a dog with dingleberries.

    I'm going to go shower then stuff my towel down the toilet to dry off.
     
    #83 CharlesJohnson, Jul 28, 2011
  4. Kubla Kahn

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    Why use a cup when there is a perfectly fine bowl of it right in the same room? Just the dog in me.
     
    #84 Kubla Kahn, Jul 28, 2011
  5. RCGT

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    It's anarchy up in this bitch. Poo fucking everywhere.
     
    #85 RCGT, Jul 28, 2011
  6. Devils Advocate

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    There ya go! You wouldn't even have to worry about being gross, and slurping out of your hands then.
     
    #86 Devils Advocate, Jul 28, 2011
  7. zyron

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    To the people who keep cups in the bathroom. Doesn't bacteria get in the cup when you flush the toilet? I don't even keep my toothbrush in the bathroom unless it is covered. A fine mist of piss and shit when you flush landing on everything.
     
    #87 zyron, Jul 28, 2011
  8. Rush-O-Matic

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    Shhhh. Don't bring this up. All the dudes who don't wash their hands after they piss will start saying, "I don't piss on my hands. My dick is clean and stuff like that."
     
    #88 Rush-O-Matic, Jul 28, 2011
  9. Noland

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    This thread has turned to shit.
     
    #89 Noland, Jul 28, 2011
  10. CharlesJohnson

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    Right. Next you'll tell them it is unwise to scrub the toilet rim with your toothbrush before brushing your teeth.

    It can't have germs if it came out of them. Herp a derpity derp de doo.
     
    #90 CharlesJohnson, Jul 28, 2011
  11. Kubla Kahn

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    Shit I don't even touch my penis when I piss. Unbutton fly, pull boxer's elastic band down past balls, penis flops out, piss, shake using the elastic band, kick toilet flusher with shoe.
     
    #91 Kubla Kahn, Jul 28, 2011
  12. xrayvision

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    Attached Files:

    #92 xrayvision, Jul 28, 2011
  13. RCGT

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    Fuck you guys, this thread just went all-star. I read CJ's post and cracked up in my cubicle for the next five minutes. The spectre of Poopmageddon hangs heavy over his head. Call it the Turd of Damocles. He can read the smearing on the wall.
     
    #93 RCGT, Jul 28, 2011
  14. Devils Advocate

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    What a mental image... I have always wanted to think about a flopping penis.
     
    #94 Devils Advocate, Jul 28, 2011
  15. JoshP

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    I guess another thing that I do ass backwards is not only do I wash my hands after I piss I wash them before hand. I mean just thinking of all of the things you touch all day especially all the shit in a public bathroom, if doctors warn you not to touch your face then, why the fuck would I want to touch my precious package with all the same germs. Strep throat is easy to explain, I don't want to know what strep cock would be.
     
    #95 JoshP, Jul 28, 2011
  16. Kubla Kahn

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    Don't worry I am sure at some point a boyfriend or hook up has flopped it on your face while you were sleeping. The things guys do because we can.
     
    #96 Kubla Kahn, Jul 28, 2011
  17. Rush-O-Matic

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    Pffff. What do you think "strep" is short for? That's right streptococcus. Strep to Cock us.
     
    #97 Rush-O-Matic, Jul 28, 2011
  18. Juice

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    YOU KICK THE TOILET FLUSHER WITH YOUR SHOE? THANKS.

    Now all the piss that did end up on the floor because youre too scared to touch your own penis has been transferred from the floor to your shoe to the flusher-handle. I USE MY HAND ON THAT.

    Oh and this afternoon when I took my post-work shit, I tried wiping while sitting. And ya know what? Its not the same when you cant look at yourself in the mirror for a brief second and reflect. But dont worry, Ill keep at it.
     
    #98 Juice, Jul 28, 2011
  19. Racer-X

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    You guys are doing it all wrong.

    I don't use a towel. I get out of the shower and immediately brush my teeth then I rinse by sucking water out of my voluminous body hair. The hair on my back that I can't reach gets dried by the toilet paper that I drag all the way up to my neck when I wipe in a modified catcher's stance.
     
    #99 Racer-X, Jul 28, 2011
  20. Kubla Kahn

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    The only time I've ever pissed on the floor was when I was drunk and the party/club had it coming, soaking the fresh TP is another antisocial game to play when hammered. I honestly don't care enough about germs not to touch my penis while pissing, it is just an un needed step if you have the coordination of a person over the age of 5. I can walk and chew bubble gum too, guess you can't? Honestly the amount and odd placement of pubic hair is the real reason I don't like touching much when at a stall or urinal. A lot of the time condensation builds up on them too because the water in the pipes it is connected to is cold. That is as pleasant a feeling as stepping in a puddle of water with socks on.
     
    #100 Kubla Kahn, Jul 28, 2011
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