You'll all be sucking it while I rocket ski on 2 dolphins

But doesn't at least one of them have a sick sense of humour and enough spare time to do it for shits and giggles?

 

I still think you're underestimating just how much fucking money $400MM is. You're talking something that shouldn't be an issue with $50MM. You could have 10 $5MM houses, spend $1MM on new cars a year for the next 40 years, and spend $5MM a year in expenses every year for the next 40 years. And add your $2MM in college and another $8MM in vacations...and still have $100MM left.

I totally get your point about stupidly expensive homes and giving money to everyone. But the way you're talking, you wouldn't burn through it quickly at all.

 

They are estimating the lump sum payout to be just North of 600 million after Federal taxes, less if you have a state tax on lottery wins or state income taxes of course. This has crossed over from being "hey, it would be so great to win the lottery because I could do X, Y and Z" money to a place where you couldn't really spend it all without doing Brewster's Million's type of shit or where people might think about buying a pro sports team type of money.....now that would make a great ESPN 30 for 30 special.

 

Not sure if Focus or Alt Focus: I'll take the twenty year annuity; I want the whole ball of wax, minus taxes. I'll get what would normally be a generous Lotto jackpot every year for twenty years. Say I fuck up and blow my tens of millions hard, like so many winners do? Try again next year! I could piss it all away for 19 years, and retire comfortably on the final draw alone.

 

Amateur shit. I make my own movie written, directed, produced, and starring me. All promotional material will be solid 24 karat gold.



Taste The Golden Spray.

(I blew $8 yesterday. That's all the lottery commission will get from me. Probably for the rest of my life.)

 

I'm also thinking there is a lot of shit that comes up that I'm not taking into account. My wife loves to travel, so there is no way we're not going on two or three stupidly expensive vacations a year. We're talking first class everything for wife, me, and two kids. Fuck, we could blow hundreds of thousands a year on vacations alone. Besides, knowing my wife, it wouldn't be just us, she would bring her parents and brother, or my parents and all my siblings and in-laws and nieces and nephews. Shit, on my side alone we'd be paying for vacations for 17 people and counting (22 if you bring her side, no kids there yet) including travel expenses, lodging, and food. Picture a trip like that to Disney and you could see how easy it is to drop that kind of cash.

then there are every day expenses that pile up when you have that much shit. Home security, cleaning, maintaining a house, in-ground pool, hot tub and all the other shit we'd buy would be expensive, too. Taxes are a mother-fucker on that kind of stuff, especially property taxes. Buying a 1 million dollar home is great, but add in all the taxes? Not to mention the taxes for all the expensive shit you buy to fill the home, plus daily bills. Electric, heat, security, cleaning service, pool cleaners, lawn care, cable, Internet, cell phone, streaming services cause we'd have them all... That stuff adds up quickly, and I'm sure as shit not doing it. I can't imagine a month that we didn't spend $50k on bills and taxes alone, maybe more.

This is on top of going nuts at holidays and birthdays for family members, because if you're the lotto winner and DONT drop a shitton at Christmas, not to mention fuckloads on parents, you're a Dick. Birthdays? Fuck, even minor holidays people would expect something. 4th of July alone I'd end up literally lighting fire to a grand, easy.

Although this does bring up a good social question. Do you spend tons on nieces and nephews, knowing their parents can't possibly match it for your kids and they'll feel like jerks, OR spend a small amount on nieces and nephews so your siblings don't feel bad, but you look like a cheap asshole who isn't willing to splurge on your family? I can see why lotto winners end up fucked in the end.

 

As most of you know, the state authorities have "issues" with me driving on public roads, so you know what I'd do?

Use the money to bribe a bunch of state/federal officials into erasing my criminal record.

(What? You thought I was going to say hire a chauffeur? Get your head out of your ass. I'm not letting someone else drive my Trans Am. And yes, I'd keep my Trans Am, but I'd have a whole stable of badass muscle cars/trucks to choose from as well.)

In addition to setting up a trust for Li'l Bandit and some of my least hated family members, I'd build the ultimate custom automotive shop. (Yeah, I'd still keep working, even with the money. The only reason I want/make money is so that I can build the badass machines that I like driving.)

EDIT: Due to an enthusiastic sales clerk, I actually bought a ticket Saturday night (first time I've bought a lottery ticket in about 15 years), and didn't match a single number.

 

I would hold off on buying a house. I'd buy a Nordhavn 62, live aboard and keep moving for a while. If people won't leave my family alone, just keep traveling, hide in plain sight amongst the even larger yachts of those that actually earned their money.

http://www.yachtworld.com/boats/200...M-BEACH-GARDENS/FL/United-States#.VpOrusso7qB

It's a big, comfy, stabilized trawler. One of the most efficient boats in its class. Larger enough fuel range to cross any ocean. Back up wing engine to get you to a port if your main fails. Hydraulic bow and stern thrusters so it's more easily handled by a couple. Big enough deck to carry one of my little racing sailboats, cause I need sailing in my life. Only costs roughly 0.3% of what you have after taking the lump sum and paying the taxes.

 

I honestly don't understand the appeal of a mansion. If I paid a ridiculous amount for a home, it would probably be because 1) sitting on a lot of land - that's Mr. Bell's dream, he wants a lot of land and 2) the amenities - state of the art everything with built in gadgets and temp control and humidifiers and etc you get the idea. The architecture would be very modern, while the interior decorating would be comfortable and homey. I don't want my house to look like a museum.

I can only see one use for a mansion - I would need the extra room if I wanted to build a TARDIS control room, Enterprise bridge, etc. Oooh, and a Millennium Falcon. But that could go in the backyard.

 

So lawyers, accountants, etc. etc. Though I do have an advantage in that I can get our high net worth guys in the company to consult on a plan for free and then get a commission on everything I do with my money. That becomes a handy bonus % on earnings rendering conservative small percentage yields into healthy returns and healthy returns into amazing. So there's that.

Stuff to buy/do. Pay off all debts, buy my in laws house, my mom's house, and a house for my wife and I. I like space, so it's going to be pretty big, but specifically high tech as well. Solar, electrified driveway, and gadgets and gizmos galore. The future is here, but especially for the very rich.

In the realm of eclectic pettiness, I would text all of my theoretical friends "text back and I'll give you $100." The responses would be categorized as follows:

1 - Friends who normally respond to me in regular life and respond to the text get $100. Heck, even if they ignore it, they get $100.
2 - People who are flaky about responding and fail to respond also get $100. They're keeping to their honest natures.
3 - People who normally never get back to me but now suddenly do. Yup, still $100 for I'm no liar, but then they're deleted from my life forever.

I plan to be a seriously eccentric wacky rich guy. The tough part is figuring out what to do day to day to feel self-actualized. I think I'd play a lot of Hold 'em tournaments, do some charity stuff, and do some Angel investing. Run some fun larps.

What I'd really be interested in finding out is what my wife would want to do with her freed up life.

 

If we're up in the 400-500MM after taxes range, I'm definitely purchasing a European soccer team. Sure I can't afford Real Madrid or Man United (fuck them anyways), but either a lower division team to bring up to the top level and reaping the sweet TV money in the process, or a smaller La Liga or Ligue 1 club could be fun, while also looking at it as a business. I'm not going to be some Jerry Jones meddler, hire the right smart people to make shit happen.

 

"Honey I won the lottery, pack your bags."
"Where should I pack for?"
"I don't care, just get the fuck out."

 

Since we've done the lottery thread a bunch, and since the Powerball is up to Eleventy Brazilian dollars, maybe this is a more interesting slant:

A lot of people would give money to their parents, siblings, closest friends, or buy them gifts, etc. (Although, I think the max gift in the year is $14K, so they'd have to pay 40 percent tax on any gift larger than that. Maybe you set up a foundation, give a shit ton to the foundation, and name all your friends and family as paid board members / employees, or something clever.)

Alt. alt. focus: Do you have any family members on equal standing that you would intentionally snub? Like, would you give to one sister / cousin and not the other? Or, maybe intentionally give to friend A that's not even that close, just to rub it in acquaintance B's face that they didn't get shit? Post a list to Facebook: "I just won the Lottery, bitches. Here are the people I am NEVER giving any money to." And, why? "Dave Smith, I know you're one who stole my pencil in 3rd grade. You lied about it, and I still see your smug face at the grocery store every now and then. Suck it."

 

I have a friend and former roommate that owes me ~$1200. At this point we've *mostly* let it go and I never bring it up. But were I to win the lottery I would mentally "gift" her $1200 and physically give her nothing. Had she ever just said "I know I owe you a bunch of money, I'm sorry, it'll be awhile" then I'd feel differently. So, other friends of various closeness would get money, she would get nothing.

I don't know if I'd give my brother anything. He's already well off and kind of a huge pain in the ass. I'd keep an eye out for his kids though, make sure they're ok in case something happens to their family's financial standing.

All of my friends that are also clients would, after I officially resigned to avoid legal problems, get money. They believed in me.

 

A few years ago I would have told my brother to kiss my ass, but we've reconciled some and I'd at least throw a handful of pennies at him now.

Just kidding, I would take care of my parents and siblings. Can't really think of any family or friends I'd intentionally want to snub.

 

I have about 6-7 guys that are solid, bring-the-shovel-n0-questions-asked friends. I regularly do shit with them for the local guys and the ones out of town, we talk and text regularly, and make sure we get together at least once a year. If I were suddenly a multi-millionaire, I would want these same people in my life, and want them to be able to afford the same new lifestyle I am living. I would absolutely hook them up. I'm assuming be a lottery winner of millions of dollars makes you become pretty insular, with all these people saying, "aw, come on, you can spare $100, man." or "just loan me ten grand. I'm good for it. I know you can afford it." Those people can fuck right off. I want my homies with me.

 

Use silver dollars. They'll hurt more and you can afford it.

 

I would probably make my sister and her husband take drug tests every 2 days and be clean for a month before I gave them anything.

 

Like others have said, I'd do the regular take care of my immediate family and a select group of very close friends on some stuff.

After that though, I'm setting aside a small amount (let's say 5-10 million) that's eligible to anybody that can make claim of knowing me in any form or fashion. We went to school together in 3rd grade and you moved halfway through the year? Show me a school picture with both of us and you're good. I somehow convinced you to go home with me randomly one night at a bar? Um, not sure how you'll prove that, but produce the article of clothing I likely left at your house/apartment. Ex-girlfriend who feels like I 'owe' you for mental anguish and suffering? Let's do this. It will be my designation to first determine if this person's claim is in fact valid that they do know me. Once that has been completed, they will then have to compete in a Fear Factor style tournament with others that have made claims. But I'm not stopping at the PG shit they did on TV. Eat a smoked bull penis? Here's maybe a grand. Chug some cow blood? Sure, have $500. There's people in Africa that do that everyday for free. I wanna see how depraved people really will get for money. Will you stick this live eel up your rectum? Cool, 100k for you. Go give a mouth-hug to a random syphilitic bum under a bridge? Here's 250k. I'm sure I can come up with other things with all of my new-found free time.