What the fuck, he is 80, not 8. If he can still tug one out let him. What can he possibly do if it is his computer and not the families? Put some locks on his banks web sites if his mind is going but let him see some tits.
Fuck, Jägerette found The Notebook on Oxygen. Rachel McAdams has a fucking enormous mouth. Jesus. She could fit a platoon's worth of dicks in there at once.
He tried to put me to bed, but it didn't work. Given the number of times I had to edit my post, I'd say I dont blame him. So glad I'm not actually out on the town in this state.
I'm listening to February Stars on repeat and thinking about how insignificant my life has been so far. Dear God I hope I get my big break soon, real soon. Sorry for being a downer ladies and gents... now I'm off for some random banning. You better hope your name doesn't start with Q tonight.
Just got kicked out of a club for no reason. My friends are still in there. Time to jack off / play Modern Warfare 2.
Yeah, I read Palanhiuk's "Guts" too. Hot shit. I found a new brewereryeyryeeryeyeyerry. $3.75 pints for some fresh-ass beer. I'd let a hooker spit in my mouth for that price. One of my friends is South African. Note, I'm not besmirching the good name of South Africans or Lethal Weapon 2 actors, but the bitch fed me Old English mixed with Jooce carbonated orange drank. I am flying. This isn't a national drink or whatever. Just something cheap, stupid, disgusting. To hear her say "old engish mixed vit o-runge dreenk" is priceless. I regret not asking her where the diamonds were.
I am drunk. I was the only single gal at the party tonight...so I ended up getting a ride home with friends. Slightly awkward and embarrassing, but that's better than a DWI, right? I am so plastered I puked the party snacks I ate tonight and almost every word in this post has been re-written due to drunken typos. I am drunk, but due to school, work-related stress and Pilates continuing education, I think I am overdue on making an ass of myself. I have feelings nfor someone who I shouldn't. This has been building for months, but I've tried to ignore it. It's starting to drive me crazy, but I can't do anything about it because I'm a woman. Salud, y'all.
I am sober. I know, I can't believe it either. Although, last night was a different story. I'm too lazy to type it out right now lets just say my standard pickup line to girls in our group was "you'd look much better naked and in my bed". Neeldess to say, I went home alone. EDIT - I didn't care though, I was all about going out with my friends and making an ass out of myself. It was a stressfull week.
Well, Grain Train plus bar plus house party plus late night house party=me really drunk. And now the sick girlfriend wants me to walk her from her friend's dorm to her dorm. I accidentally gave the bartender a $20 bill for a gin and tonic instead of the $5 bill I meant to give her and told her to keep the change. $16 down the drain, though I did manage to get another gin and tonic on the house so that's 2 gin and tonics for $10 each. Oh well I made up for it with free beer at the house party and the late night. The friend is passed out and I must go find the girlfriend. Adios bitches.
I'm sorry I didn't mean to call you guys bitches. I tried to edit the above post but the computer recognized my drunken state and decided to fuck with me and not let me do so. Time for bed I am quite inebriated. Goodnight fellow idiots.
Am drunk. Yelled at possible Canadians. Made 1 gallon of screwdriver. Bad idea. Beeramid a succcesss. No more mandatory tooks and back bacon. Rozdower!
very drunk well not very drunk highly inebriated, and slightly under the influence went to a frat party yeah I'm in college bouncer was having a bit of a power trip kid told us to climb a fence climbed a fence another kid told us we shouldn't have climbed a fence (but he was nice about it) we unclimbed that fence eventually got in anyway DJ's are really unsmooth when trying to find college chicks they want to fuck fuck the east coast (even though I'm from NY and lived there for 18 of my 19 years) for being asleep already sorry to people who get annoyed about the enter key, it was really pleasing to keep hitting a lot
And you didn't invite me?! So I went to my buddy's house last night to geek out with some MW2, and ended up getting right fucked up on beer vodka plus a capfull of GHB, and then tonight I got good and wasted again on beer and gin&tonic this time. On each night I acquired a number from a hot brunette, so I'm pretty stoked since is been an empty void for 7 months.
The last time I brought this up I didn't get laid for 3 days. I'm an IT guy. I know how to block everything but my wife and sister-in-law won't listen. Maybe I'll get the old guy a Playboy subscription for Christmas.
Apparently when I got back to the room I told the roommate I was going to get in his bed and hurt him. I don't think he deserved it. The friend doesn't remember much of the night, I was a successful host and am pleased.
The good: had a great time, got drunk for relatively cheap, ended up fucking a girl from the party. The bad: I'm hungover, the girl wasn't very attractive, and the deed was done in my friend's futon while he slept in the spare room so we could have privacy. I have good friends at least. The best: got woken up by said friend this morning. My boxers were down around my knees. No more tequila for a while.
How is ANY of that bad?? It sure kicks the crap out of most of MY nights as a single guy, namely: Going home alone, snapping off some knuckle children then lying on the couch in my undies and at the same time eating dip straight out of the can while watching boxing reruns and scratching my ass with a melon scoop.
What day is it now? Woke up at 11am, still hammered from last nights festivities, and decided about an hour ago that I should take my empties back to the beer store. $75 later, I ended up with another case, two packs of smokes and $25 left. Starting on the new case and settling in for the Ford 400 from Homestead-Miami. Monday is going to be rough.