So you are insinuating that enjoying watching heterosexual porn is some how homosexual? So by these standards the only way you wouldn't be gay as a dude for liking to watch a women please a man is if she were only pleasing another women and no man was involved? So is being gay not manly itself? I think the Freddie Mercury would disagree.
What makes a man? Being able to fuck your girl standing by holding her up off the ground. Not using the wall either.
Being there for the people who need you, and finding joy in sacrificing your own impulses for immediate gratification to bring happiness and comfort to someone else. Or in other words...
Keeping your cool. When the shit hits the fan, a real man stays calm. Whether that means some dude just took his shirt off and has his fists in your face, or something closer to home like serious health issues with family members. The ability to stay calm in situations when others can't makes you the rock, the leader, the man.
Proficient abilities with power tools is a requirement of being manly. That comes before all else. Outdoor skills are close, including hunting and fishing. Beer is the most manly alcohol so drinking it is important. Liquor is acceptable. Rum would be the most manly, although I might be bias. I just never see women drinking rum, but there are plenty who drink whiskey. Pirates drank rum for fucks sake and it doesn't get more manly than pirates! Beards are obvious. There is no situation where having a beard would make you look less manly. And on a more adult note, fathers who take care of their kids. There is nothing more manly. That puts chubby chasers at an unfair disadvantage.
I'm not sure where this is headed, but I think Ron can help out. As for being a man. Fix something. People bitch all the time about how a plumber is so expensive, well shit, pick up a plunger your dainty little man. I work an office job but fix lots around my house, why?, well one, it's cheaper, and 2 I feel like a man to be of use to my family. If dialing a phone with your callous free hands is how you "fix" something I can only assume your husband is the man in the relationship.
I'm going to stay away from all the "Men cannot trim their body hair / use skin products / must be able to chug a beer / build a house / eat three steaks" truck commercial bullshit* and just say this: What I consider to be manly are mostly mental characteristics, things that denote maturity. Owning up to your actions. Dealing with problems head-on, not bitching out of them. Always being willing to do what you are afraid of and push your boundaries. Knowing how to admit you've made a mistake and learn from it. Always striving to be better. Being honest with yourself, not rationalizing or deluding yourself about your own failings. The unmanliest guy I can think of off the top of my head is one of my housemates. Whenever he has an issue with one of us - and it could be a small thing, like he thinks the dishes aren't being done well enough - he will bitch about it to his girlfriend, and then send out a passive-aggressive email, occasionally with reference to legal action. He will talk about how much he can lift - despite the fact that he never goes to the gym, he's slowly getting fat, and I and my friend go three times a week without fail. He's been pretty racist, but he'll deny it to my face, then bitch about me behind my back. His laziness, his self-delusion, his avoidance of real confrontation, and his inability to shoot straight with people are all things I consider pretty damn unmanly. I strive not to be like that. *(I wrote this before reading the thread, so consider this preemptive.)
But those characteristics also apply to a woman, so it makes them characteristics of being an adult, or of just not being a shitty person in general. Manliness should be gender specific. I'm not saying you have talk about being rugged, that's why I mention not walking out on your kids and actually raising them as manly.
There aren't any real differences in being a good man versus being a good woman. Forgoet all the jingoistic, country music, deer gutting, tool weilding nonsense and focus on what makes a person a better person, honesty and integrity to boil it down to two words, and those things aren't gender specific.
And on his lady's friends. If someone took a shit larger than myself, I would want to know what the hell he ate to take a 200 pound shit.
Women are immanent, men are transcendent. I think that's from Spengler, but am too lazy to cite properly. I've been thinking about it for 20-some years since I read it, and usually find a new way in which that fact manifests(1) itself. (1) Get it? Philosophy jokes are always funny.